Confession of a Breadwinner
" It has never been easy for me"
" Being a breadwinner is not the hardest part but rather asking yourself " How about me? Who will provide for myself"
" I feel like I commit a sin every time I buy something for myself "
Those are some of the phrases that remains in my mind after I watched the video about a Confession of a breadwinner. And as I've noticed as the moment they talked and confess, you can really feel the pressure that they shouldered all along. Some of them even cried because according to them, " It's never been easy". Yes being a breadwinner will never been easy right? There's a moment that you will choose to sacrifice your own dreams just to provide for your family. They choose to stop their studies to support and send their younger siblings in school. I also remember the clip of the movie of Marian Rivera but unfortunately I forgot the title. There's a line that something like this " I always give you what you want. I always prioritize you before thinking myself because I love you. If you want something you always run to me and asked for it. You always depend on me. My whole world revolves on you. But how about me? Did you ever asked yourself if how about Ate? Now that I have a problem, no one asked if I'm okay. Because honestly, I'm already tired". And I think that it's not only happened on the movie because until now, it is so evident on us especially when you are a Filipino. Mostly if not our parents,the eldest among the siblings became our breadwinner.
But sometimes, did you ever asked the breadwinner of your family if they are okay? If they are really okay? Because for sure at some point they wanted to cry but they can't because they don't want to show it to you. They want to give up but they choose to fight because she knows that there's a lot who depend on her. They want to run away but they realize " How about them? How about my family? And the life of a breadwinner starts with that thought that gradually became a cycle.
Sometimes they ever think that they seems to be cornered in a dark place where in they can't get away. Some of them became a breadwinner since they are still young. They didn't get a chance to enjoy their youthful years because you think that it is already a sin because your priority should be your family. You don't have a time to hang out with your friends because everytime you attempt, you suddenly remember all the responsibilities and obligation you have. Maybe sometimes you really get a chance to chitchat with them but after that you need to go back to your reality where you need to woke and work up for the living of others. Another side of the story is when you need to decide between buying your needs or giving the needs of your family. There's a point that you want to be selfish even at once because you know that you also deserve to buy your needs but the guilt is there so the tendency is you choose to prioritize your family over yourself. If your money or salary is not enough, you really need to choose one and unfortunately, you let go yourself for the sake of your family because you love them to the point that you are willing to sacrifice everything for their good.
As a breadwinner, you tend to budget tight your money. You avoid and set aside unnecessary things because you need to save something. You need to earn something because they might need it soon. You are afraid to asked their help because you know that you are only their source so probably they can't give you something. You need to provide to yourself while also providing for your family. Sometimes you even get double job just to provide everything. You even sacrifice your sleep because you thought that it's never been enough.
And as for this moment, I want to admire all the breadwinners out there. I know that at some point you are already tired. I know that you want to get ta rest but you can't. On behalf on your family and siblings, I just want to say " Thank you". Thank you for always choosing us first even though you want something for yourself. Thank you for keep pushing yourself for giving us comfort. Thank you for sacrificing your dreams just to let us continue reaching our dreams. Thank you for being our savior. But I just also want to remind you that you are also a human being. You need and deserve to rest. Don't burn out yourself to the point that the whole you will deferred. If you need a rest, give it to yourself. If you need someone to talked, go and find the right person that would listen to you. Be proud to yourself because you handle everything all along. Those sleepless night, those tears you choose to stop to fall and those silent battles you overcome. I believe that your sacrifice now will be a success later. It will be all worth it. Just keep on going breadwinners. I'm rooting and always be proud on you.
Hello fellow dreamers of read cash universe. How's everyone here? Hope that everyone here able to rest a bit. I actually don't have a plan to write anything here because I'm already exhausted in academics but since I got inspired to the said confession, taddaa here I am hahah. I actually write it for only half hour so sorry if my thoughts is so messy like my mind haha. Let's enjoy the rest of the night and have a peaceful sleep later. 🤗💚