You Can Judge Be My Judge

I and Stephen I've been dating each other for fifteen months now, but I don't think I can recover from what he made me pass through, maybe possibly i can, but hear me out first, I'm gonna tell you what transpired between us.

It was a Sunny Friday, but that day happens to be the darkest day of my life, both literally and figuratively. On that day I was admiring the shape of my body in front of the mirror, I could picture Stephen holding my waist and drawing his lips closer to mine, I close my eyes that moment waiting for his invisible lips to intersect with mine. The picture of him in my head makes me go crazy, the voice of Stella my roommate woke me up from my daydream.

I was too anxious to meet Stephen that day, 8 hours is like waiting for eternity. He told me he was going to decorate the room with red petals and lit it up with red candles and all forms of colors. He also promises to make a delicious meal for me. That morning, I was salivating for his meal that I have not even seen. I could not eat the food that stella took her time to cook because I was waiting for that of Stephen, and I might also be waiting for something more than just the meal, maybe his meal or lips.

But here am I now, I lost appetite for any food, I wish I could starve myself to death, I just want to leave this nasty world, Stephen even made it more miserable for me. I wish he could have told me from the beginning, I wish he could have told me that he's not looking for someone to love, that all he ever wanted is someone to satisfy his urge. Claims he loves me but I've been stupid all along. If I should take my life, people will say I overreacted, but I'm gonna tell you what happened, then you can judge from your perspective......

After admiring the shape of my body that morning, I went to the bathroom to have a shower. I was ready to offer myself to Stephen tonight, so I want to admire it before then. I spent more than 40 minutes in the bathroom admiring myself and preparing it for a living sacrifice for Stephen because all my thought is that Stephen is for me. I came out of the bathroom and Stella told me that she prepare a meal for me, I told her " I'm not eating, you can eat it alone, Stephen is making a meal for me" I mustered with mischievousness.

The look in her eyes could best be described as when she meant never do cook for me again..." Ehenn, don't worry I can always cook for myself next time" I laughed so hard that she have to walk out of my presence. I said to her while leaving "don't blame me, I'm in love, maybe you've never fallen in love before"

It was 4 pm already, and I can't wait to go and meet Stephen, it was the same Stella that I teased in the morning that helped me dress up. After dressing up, I stood in front of our house waiting for Stephen to come and pick me up, we both agreed he will come by 4:30 but this past five already. I try to console myself assuming maybe he's still busy with the petals, the candles, and the cooking. I was feeling bored already because Stella has left, she told me she was going to the library. Instead of me staying alone and feeling bored, I decided to take a taxi to Stephen's house.

I got to his place in 10 minutes, from afar I was hearing a piece of loud music and I could conclude that the music is from his room because he was playing our best song, perfect by Ed_Sheeran, then I thought withing myself " this is going to be the best time to give him my honor". The smile on my face is overwhelming when I open the door I was expecting him to be filled with surprise seeing me, I was expecting the petals sprinkling around my bed, the candles in all corners of the room, and the aroma of his food to take me off my feet.

When I entered, I saw all the things he promised to do, but another thing I saw was unexpected. I saw a lady and a guy on the bed that was sprinkled with petals, they were in deep romance, and they were playing our song. The guy was my Stephen and the lady was Stella, my friend. So just give me a reason why I should not take my life? Nonetheless, I'm not going to take my life, but I was left with a scar, finding it so hard to heal.

Note: This story is fictional, not real

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