The happenings in my life right now
Date: July 8, 2022
I'm not entirely sure what's going on with me right now. I just want to know what is happening to me so I can stop it or at least ease the strain. I have no idea how long it will take
I was reading. I publish my revised draft and I often read for money. Since July 1, my article has gotten a few, occasionally no views at all. I'm not sure what happened. I understand that perhaps I made a mistake. I simply let things be.
After some time, I began to miss the thrill of rising subscription counts and a sizable number of likes and comments. Even while I'm loving reading other people's stuff, I couldn't help but wonder what happened to my account and why it wasn't reaching my daily goals. It even doesn't like it. I have decreased my reading since Sunday, I've observed. I was reading, but I don't feel anything anymore because of it, and when Wednesday comes. Even though I was scrolling, I wasn't giggling at any funny content. I didn't visit a few of my subscribers' articles since I wasn't feeling well, and I also didn't have the stamina to do so earlier.
I normally feel exhausted despite getting only a few hours of sleep, but this time, I was exhausted as soon as I woke up. While I'm in the bath, I start to consider what will happens to my day. I seem to be unhappy. I'm not sure if it's because I'm afraid, demotivated, or just exhausted, but I lack enthusiasm. Even if I am sick, I know that I would still feel the same. I'm already worn out even though I haven't done anything.
As I tend to be a little impatient and unpleasant, I believe it is perfectly typical for me to lash out. My brother is very talkative, he likes cracking jokes, making noise, and requesting attention by speaking aloud. She is amiable but somewhat naive. I put on my earplugs and start blasting loud music whenever he starts acting in that way. I prefer not to hear him speak since I need to concentrate on my articles
I really want to yell in front of someone's face if I'm tired and annoyed and I hear certain noises, but of course, that would be horrible, so I just put on my headphones instead. I should learn to regulate my emotions because I'm not doing anything wrong; I'm simply annoyed.
It will be both nice and awful for me in one day. That is accurate. I'm glad that today will start well. It will then go wrong in the middle and turn around to be good. Not like now, I don't have my finest days. Maybe the past month was my best days
When I have fewer troubles or when I do have problems, I can sometimes tell I'm having a good day. Even though I may classify it as a nice day, at the end of the day I still feel down or simply melancholy. I occasionally cry and then begin to feel regret, but I always recover. With all that is happening to me, am I going crazy?
I only get a few hours of sleep each night, so I am aware of why I sometimes feel so exhausted. Only from Saturday night to Sunday morning can I get eight or more hours of sleep. During the week, I don't get enough sleep, and on the rest day, I sleep too much. I much prefer napping to eating. I am aware that sometimes I feel sleepy, but as soon as I lay down in bed, my eyes do not close instead, I continued thinking about what will happen when I wake up.
In terms of eating, I've recently developed food preferences. I try to force myself to eat at lunch and dinner even when I know I'm not hungry. When I'm hungry, I occasionally desire to eat someone. Lol.
I feel bad about myself sometimes when I am talking to my parents, and they said something that triggers me to feel bad, I will talk to them immediately. Lately, I am very easy to react to something sensitive. I don't know if my parents will just understand me. But my brother is the savior he will change the topic urgently and everybody will be calm. It happens lots of times so sometimes I do not talk when I know I am sad.
I don't understand what is happening to me I think it is who I am. Or maybe I just need to do something to make me feel okay again, yet still,l I need this to get out of my system because this is a negative actions. And all I want is my positive side..
I sometimes felt that. Being aware of where and what you are feeling right now is one step forward already. Take it one day at a time, if getting out of bed or even reading an article, just even 1 makes it difficult for you, if you've done these things, celebrate them. It may be small to others but in this kind of situation you're in, its already big. Hugs! Take a break and You'll be fine.