Not now!

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2 years ago

As I am writing this, I am battling with my anxiety and panic attacks. I don't know exactly why I got this but my doctor said that there are a lot of things that can trigger anxiety and one thing is because of too much pressure and overthinking. At first, I thought I have an abnormal heart condition because I find it so difficult to breath all of a sudden. I was in first year college that time and I really don't know why it happened. It was New Year's Eve in 2016 when this panic attack first happened. I was just folding our clothes when I felt uneasy. My hands are cold and started to get numb as I was folding our clothes. My feet were cold too and I can't make them move to any direction. Because I became too nervous, my heart beat rapidly making it hard to breathe. I called my younger sister who was asleep that time but she just ignored me and said that she's tired and sleepy. I told her to call our grandma who was at our neighbor's house for I cannot breath but she just continued to sleep. Until now, I and my sister always argued because of that. I told her she didn't care about me but I just make it as a joke.

So yeah that's how it started. When my grandma came, I really can't breath and my hands' color started to turn into violet and and I can't control them too. My speaking became crooked because my mouth seem harden. Consequently, I panicked which made the situation worse. I wasn't able to breathe at all so my grandma decided to take me to the hospital.

When we were on our way, I was crying while riding on the ambulance. I thought that it's the end of my life that I even bid goodbye to family. I also questioned God about my fate why He will let me end that way. I never thought I would arrive at the hospital alive. The nurses hurriedly assisted me because I can't walk anymore. They let me be in a wheelchair and immediately checked me in the emergency room. They checked my heart beat and then decided to admit me there. Since it's New Year's and it's late in the evening, the doctors aren't there and so the nurses called them.

I really don't want to be in a hospital since horror movies gave me trauma about it but I did not have a choice but to stay. When the doctor came, she checked everything in me and said that maybe I and my boyfriend had a fight that's why I ended that way. I was thinking that is my condition a joke? Little did I know that there's nothing wrong in my body. It's my brain that had a problem. It's my anxiety.

I learned that I had an anxiety when my doctor explained everything. She told me most woman or woman are prone to anxiety than men because woman tend to think more than man who are just relaxed. She told me maybe I was being pressured by my family or maybe I don't share my problem to anyone. And there I realized that the doctor was right. Since I was a kid, my grandma used to said to me that I should be the top one in class and such the like. At first, I was okay with it but when I grow up, it developed into pressure and I was unaware of it. My doctor gave me medicine in case my anxiety would act up again but I didn't take even one. I don't want myself to be dependent on it. I want myself to heal the way I want and that I should be the one to control my brain.

It was only after six months when I fully recovered but those six months were hell for me. I had a difficulty in breathing all day even I will just drink water. When I am alone at home, my panic attacks would again visit me that I almost got crazy thinking that I will die. Glad that I found ways to divert my attention and that is cleaning the house everyday. I also talked to my dogs and spent most of my time with them. I also slept most of the time for it was my only escape from feeling so tired.

After that six months, my anxiety would seldom visit me but now it came again. I told my boyfriend about it so he will be aware too. I even let her nurse Clea because I want to rest and sleep but I can't sleep early. I am thinking that this should go away especially now that I have my baby and I can't take care of her if I have this with me. But what can I do, it's so hard for me to avoid it.

To you out there especially to us, women, let us take care of our mental health. Stay away from those people who don't contribute peace. More self-love this time, please. Do what makes you happy and don't let pressure take over you. Learn to communicate all the time. Let everything out so you won't carry heavy baggage in your heart.

Have a good evening! Gotta go back when I am fine.


Thank you fam for supporting me. I may not be able to respond immediately but I promise I'll make it up when I have the time. Thanks to my sponsors and to those people who upvote my posts. You guys are big help.

Sending my warmest gratitude to ms. @Jane, @Jher0122 and @foryoubtc09 for the sponsorship renewal. You guys rock!

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2 years ago

Comments

Yan talaga ang mahirap pag masyadong nag ooverthink ee. Kaya ako chill lang lagi. Ayaw kong mag isip ng king ano ano at baka bigla nalang ako magtatawa jan naloka na pala.

Ang to you, alam mo ng may ganyan kang history so don't overthink. Alam mo na ang mangyayari ang you don't want to experience that again right? So relax, alisin ang mga bumabagabag sa isip at chill lang ng unti. Pwd naman ee 🤗🤗

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Salamat ng marami, ms. Ruffa🥺❤️

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2 years ago

Tama ka sis, take good care of yourself and your health. If you are not happy with some people around you, just let them be and focus on yourself, your baby and your partner. Release all the toxic thoughts when possible :)

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2 years ago

True. Most importantly our mental health. 😊

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2 years ago

And mas prone Yung mga bagong panganak lang on depression din. Yung post partum depression. Laban lang , palagi mo tingnan anak mo sya magiging lakas mo.

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User's avatar Yen
2 years ago

True ms. Yen. Mas lumala at anxiety ko nung bago palang ako manganak 🥺 pero ngayon di na masyado. True, isang ngiti lang ni clea okay na agad ako

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2 years ago

Aw virtual hugs sis! Just stay away from the things or people that might trigger your anxiety. Tsaka don’t forget the medicine if may prescribe ka ni doc, mahirap kalabanin yan kaya maigi yung meron kang depensa:)

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Yes, sis. I'll stay away from those people na mga perfect masyado. Nakakapressure 🤣 gusto ko sana sis kaso takot ako baka diko na makontrol sarili ko pag walang gamot. Kaya ko pa naman kontrolin tong utak kong medyo crooked na hehe. Kumusta sis?

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2 years ago

Oo sis dun ka na lang sa mga taong handa kang tanggapin kahit sino or ano ka, I really don’t know kung papano kita macomfort sis, pero kung sa tingin mo ay di ka pa ready na makita sila eh iwasan mo muna.

Eto ok naman na, mejo nakarecover na sa sakit pero mayrun pang konting ubo mga kids. Sana mawala na din nakakapraning din kasi. Ikaw ok na ba sa inyo wala ng maysakit?

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2 years ago

Wala na sis. Nahawa na lahat eh kaya wala na dito. Naku sana naman maging okay na din mga kids mo 🥺 ininom namin yung mixture ng calamnsi, snowbear at konting asukal sa waterm effective sya nawala ubo namin

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2 years ago

Ubo na lang sis ang natira. Pinaiinom ko ng tubig palagi at may nabili naman akong cough syrup. Sana wag ng tumagal

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2 years ago

Sumunod ka nalang sa doctor marengs, uminom ka ng gamot di naman sa pagdedepends sa gamot e parang ginagawa mo nalang din yun para lumaban. Sana okay ka na ngayon mare

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2 years ago

Never ko pa ininom ang gamot sis kasi nakakaya ko naman. Pag hindi na talaga tsaka na. Okay na ako mare. Kagabe lang yun parang iba pakiramdam ko parang susumpungin na naman ako ng anxiety ko

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2 years ago

I am so sorry to read this sis. I hope that you feel better now. Anxiety isn't a joke at all. Just glad that your partner is very understanding.

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2 years ago

Yes, mamsh. Okay naman ako. Sadyang may time lang talaga na umaandar tong anxiety ko. One factor na nakakatrigger nito ay yung makakarinig ako ng news or makakita ng patay

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2 years ago

This must really be serious and I hope you get better soon enough, you really need to take good care of yourself

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Thanks, James. I am fine today and I am thankful for it.

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2 years ago

You're welcome

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2 years ago

Hala no, kuyaw man diay na maam, kita raju makacontrol sa atu kaugalingon jud maam, way gamit ang mga tambal kung kita mismo dili maka control sa atu kaugalingon. Maong dili jud ta magpa stress 🤗

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Kuyaw jod mam. Di ta kahibaw naigo na diay ta ani. Mao lge. Maong wajod ko miinom sa tambal kay gusto kog ako rapod makacontrol sa aho utok.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Mental health is really important, hope you will feel better soon Marinov

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2 years ago

Hala nuh. Ana d i na memsh ? Murag naa siguro pud koy anxiety kay kalit ra pud ko ingana na di ko kaginhawa ja mang gahi ko. Uahasy mukalit ras ahung utok if what if mamatay ko, kinsa mubantay sa ahung bata. Ja anha na magsugod na mura kog mabuang jud. Mao ahu buhaton kay mag tan aw videos sa fb para ma divert ahu huna huna ba

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2 years ago

Mem anxiety jod na. Jusko ana pod ko. Maghuna2 kog mamatay pod ko. Naa gani time nga diko ganahan makadungog naay namatay nga si kana kadto kay feel naho mao pod ko. Basta ana na gani mem sakto na e divert jod ant attention kay ug di, maglain na imo huna2 ja mao to di kaginhawa, mogahi nag kamot apil tiil pa gani usahay.

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2 years ago

Pero maajo gani memsh kay murag mild ra ahu memsh. Pero naa ko laen gipamati jud uie. Naa koy nabantayan sa ahu kaugalingon ba. Pray lang ko ani na ma okay ra ko. Laban lang jud ta memsh kay naa na raba tay mga bata

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2 years ago

Overthink jud ang di malikayan huhuhu. Take care sis kay naa paka gamay na baby.

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2 years ago

Di malikayan sis. Pero labanan kay lge naay baby luoy kaajo.

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2 years ago

Take time to relax sis and take care always. Likayi ang pag overthink, kung mahimo Mangita ug ways para di ka maka huna2x ug mga negative thoughts, pwede through listening of music

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2 years ago

Yes sis. Kana number one makaparelax naho. Aho pod mga iro kaso namatay ang usa. 🤧 Na stress sguro tos amo or gimingaw ba kaha naho ky wana koy bonding nila

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2 years ago

Hala mao sis, kalooy basin gimingaw to nimo ba...Ingon Ana sad ko sis kung ma stress or kanang mag overthink ko, music lang jud ang akong reliever

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2 years ago

Take it easy on yourself Marinov. Overthinking generally increases heartbeat and this might lead to a more distressing situations than the triggers themselves. Take care.

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2 years ago

Thank you, Layla. 😊

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2 years ago

Hala ka diha. Kuwang nas yagats

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2 years ago

No? Basin. Diay. Ubni ko

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2 years ago

I think to stop regretting about the past and thinking about the future would help a lot in this situation.

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2 years ago

But how? 😭 If I can, I would

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2 years ago

Aww.. do take care sis. At least you are well aware of your situation and so is your partner. Praying the anxiety goes away and gets healed in Jesus' name.

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2 years ago

In Jesus' name mamsh. Yes, okay naman ako sadyang may time lang talaga na mutukar jod hehe

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2 years ago

Dear, you ok? I am so worried for you. Haven’t seen you for some days. Even Lovely Faith is absent.

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2 years ago

Yes I am fine Luci. Oh, Lovely's place doesn't have signal yet so she's not online here.

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2 years ago

It's been a while @marinov that i havent heard from you but meanwhile welcome back and how is baby clea doing?

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2 years ago

Yeah, it's been a while. I am fine Sammy and so is Clea. How about you?

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2 years ago