Am I Talentless?

Have you ever felt being jealous of someone that excels in the field they choose? Like, why are they so good in that area? It left me stare in the wall realizing how many hobbies I engage with and still I’m not the best. When you put so much efforts and ending always on the second or third, even in the last. When you can do many things but doesn’t shine.

I remember when I was in grade 6; my English teacher once praised me as I read with loud voice and clear dictations. Well, I’m just starting my puberty earlier that time ha-ha. I invested my self in reading a lots of language related books. I joined many competitions, dictation, speeches, oratorical, storytelling, campus journalism and as always, I still cant win any of the competition I’ve joined. Until I’ve reached my Senior High School days and realized that maybe I’m not good in literature arts, maybe I might excel in practical skills like cooking or any field in the culinary. That’s when I took a Bachelor of Technical Education Major in Food Service Management. I’m doing good in this field until now but still, there is something in myself that doesn’t satisfy me. During the second semester of my first year of college, I decided to work in catering and arrange buffet setups. I’ve been a working student that time and when the pandemic hits I’m an incoming third-year student, catering business doomed and the owners lost in a track. Then, I decided to work in a restaurant. I learned many strategies and skills I worked hard with a low wage salary for 12 hours of duty. I earned 280 pesos per day as a cook before and at that time, I think I must excel. I become a manager but still, the salary isn’t that high for the position.  Because of our hard work and dedication, the owner established four branches of restaurants here in Davao City for a short period. I left my job after a year and search for different opportunity. I’m very lucky with the current restaurant I’m working because they offer a higher salary for the cook but what impressed me is the healthy working environment they have. I decided to end my employment with them because of the On the Job training this month (February 2022). While I’m writing this article, I try to reflect and rediscover myself. The dissatisfaction with what I’ve achieved is still attached to my head. I’m not a materialistic person but there is an edge that tells me, “Do you consider that a success?”

I’m hoping that time comes that we will sit on top and do what we’ve loved. Remember that multiple intelligences are present. I will continue to explore different areas in believing that one day, I will excel and enjoy things around me. The pressure is on me as I might graduate sooner and ends the exploration as I step into the real world. But you, if you still have the time and resources do everything that you’ve loved. Regrets will always haunt you.