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Everyday I need to get up early because I have an early schedule for work. Lucky that I was on a dayshift for some weeks already because nightshift was too tiresome. But life is working hard to strive each day to live.
When the year 2022 comes, I am happy because we live a bit better than before when we sometimes cannot eat three times a day because we run out of money. It was a struggle when pandemic starts because hubby lost his job and I was the sole working for us. That is why, I was really too strict with them in terms of protocols. I cannot afford that time to get sick nor any of my family member or I will be quarantine and having no work for even a day is less of my salary. We should not miss our vitamins everyday. I instructed them especially the children not to embrace when I arrive home because I may bring some virus. So when I arrive home, I still have to change and wash up before holding them at home. It was more than a year and we are thankful that we survive that. We do because we never lose hope. If anyone of us feels heavy and almost wanted to give up, we always have each other to give some hope.
I always smile everyday despite all the things that I go through. Yes, I am not very happy but it will never stop my day. I do things the usual way and I will still treat other people around the same. I am always good at hiding my real state in life. My colleagues never know until such thing we have open up about some talks during pandemic. Then a colleague said, "How did you do that? I also experienced such same situation before and I cannot hide how problematic my life was. But for you, it never shows." I just answered then, any problems have solutions. Giving up or to end your life is not an answer. If I give up, what will happen to my children, my family? Will it give them a better life? If I will never have hopes, how will my children grab some hopes to live more each day? They just then never utter a word.
Well, for the past few months, we are getting more tighter with our budget due to high inflations. The basic commodities are flying high too. Its really a headache for me. Imagine, each month I have to let some of our things in order to cover up some of our needs. We have family but they are miles away. They also have some problems so we never bother to disturb them in terms of money. Sometimes, I know hubby was worked up at home and wanted to work even online at home. But due to limited funds, he cannot pushes through. Tomorrow, I need about sixty dollars for our rentals, water and electric bill but I just have a dollar or two left in my wallet. I was really overthinking lately and hubby notice me. However, he always hold my hand and say, we can survive this together. Also, he is my number believer here in read.cash. If I miss Rusty, he will say, "Rusty might just be late a bit, don't worry he will visit you." And by that, I will just keep on visiting here and making some even how busy I am. Then he was right, I really should not worry then. Thus I am thankful somehow that there is always hope in everything. We just have to try and try and never give up.
In the darkness, the tiniest light we can see might be the biggest hope we can hold upon to live more and survive a day. As long as we breath, there is hope. As long as we have reasons to live, there is hope. We can be sad today but there is always another day to give us new hope to be happy.
Do you know what prayed today?
I prayed for a miracle for tomorrow.
📷 All images from Unsplash
Thank you so much for reading this far. Here I can feel light when I can write how I felt heavy inside. Even if I am off for some days, Rusty always give me a reason to smile and giving me more hopes to smile again today.