No matter how old you are, bold you seem, or, experienced you claim to be... There are always moments that leave us confused, afraid, and unsure. Seyi felt this moment too now, as she sat in the tight bus. Mindful of her environment she paid attention all around herself but, at the same time, no one saw her hand weaken, her fingers shake in nervousness. She clutched her small bag tight, the rest were in the boot, and she maintained so much calm, as always. But inside, she was melting away.
A single room and that, she would have to share with a part stranger. But it was close to school and, it was affordable. That cancelled out some of its unliveabilities. Travelling on a bus could be quite uncomfortable. The part where you had to sit, squeezed in between sometimes weird smelling, sweaty strangers, having to keep awake for fear of one's things being stolen or one even being taken to the wrong place... Almost everything about it was uncomfortable. Buy it was a public transport. That's what happens. But it wasn't the discomfort in the bus that made her so unbalanced. It was the nervousness of the decision she just took, of the happenings from the last few months, and what should have been. She should have been in school, living her normal life. But normal had changed. She hadn't called or allowed many calls either from most of her previous classmates. Asides from herself signing out from the University, she didn't want anything in relation to the school. Maybe she wanted to take her mind off it. But, she still kept in touch with two of them. And it was one who helped her find accommodation.
The trip was just a few hours, and she didn't sleep at all. Instead, she looked out through the window, her eyes fixed listlessly on passing objects.
Months ago, she had been in school. U.Lar. A hot, frustrating school where grades were as scarce as lecturers who actually taught. A is Gold, B is scarce, and pricey too. The amenities and facilities were bad too. But it had been her school. And it had a good reputation. And she had been proud to be a part of it. She looked on as recent memories washed through her head.
"I need a new phone!" Seyi grumbled out loud.
"Toor." Adey laughed. "Pele o."
"Save up and buy a new one." Dami piped in.
Seyi rolled her eyes as she thought inwardly. Like I have the money.
"Don't complain to us." Adey shouted. "You can't ask Eko?" "You'll be acting like you're the only one who's that big. I thought you were rich now!"
Seyi rolled her eyes again. Although she lived with Adey, she didn't really like her much. The girl was...well, kind of guy and money jumpy. And Eko was an admirer. A rich one at that but Seyi had turned him down twice because he had two notorious girlfriends and was rumoured to have hands in illegal deals. Adey hadn't been pleased because obviously, "Seyi should have accepted the guy since there will be something in it for her 'friends'."
Seyi turned her head in another direction. She still had the same old phone she complained about. Brother Dayo would have gotten her another but now, she was the one to get good ones for her younger siblings when the time came. Could she even afford that much? Would she be able to make that much?
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Màámi called her twice, during the journey. And once, she spoke with Peju. It reminded her of days when she would be at school and her siblings would fight over the phone to speak to her. She smiled faintly at the moment that played in her head. Three voices all shouting into the phone. She almost couldn't believe that for even a small while, she had been faced with the possibility of not going to school at all again. Well, Providence works in different ways. She was now, in a much bigger school, perhaps, even better than U.Lar. At least, it had a more influential connection and a lot of good reputation. Although, it seemed like things had gotten worse,... maybe they had gotten better in some way too? Afterall, U.W is a big upgrade from U.Lar... Maybe things were going to get quite complicated with her but, she was going to give it a shot. It was contradictory though, how determined she was, yet, so fearful.
If someone were to read me, I would be a jigsaw puzzle.
That was the thought on her mind before she heard the big bang.
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No, no, no, no, Lord, no!
Bang!
"Oya, oya, Ẹ bọ́lẹ̀!" The voice screamed again; "Ẹ bọ́lẹ̀!" (Hurry, hurry, get down! Get down!) The voice, thuggish, harsh.
Seyi's heart pounded in her chest. She almost believed that it leapt out of her mouth. Armed robbers. Worst case scenario, Kidnappers.
I can relate the old me to Seyi. I also experienced wanting so much to have a new phone without considering our family's situation and I think that's so selfish.