The Survivor E10: Back in time

Three years ago, there was a burial ceremony in that house.

Chief Olubunmi Ernest Oyekanmi. (Jan.1948- Dec.2017)

Three years after, the gravestone still stood in the compound. Erule Ogota. That was the town where he had lived his last years, where he was from; the hometown of his children.

Dayo was born in Ìjèbú òde , when Chief was an engineer in Ògùn. That was thirty-three years ago. 1988.

Seyi was born eleven years after. After six children had been born in between from the other wives.

Banana skinned, with a slender figure, she was the replica of her mother's side. The orí omi(coastal region) people. She had even their accent and small delicate size. But although she didn't look like her father, she bore his spirit in her. Fiery spirited, sometimes, turning into fits of temper, Chief called her "hot coals in a small kettle".

Seyi was born in between boys. Her mother's birth, like most just child birthing women, hadn't been regular. Meaning, that in between the eleven years she was born from her elder brother, Dayo, and the ten years she seniors Bolu with, were only boys. Seven boys. So, her only age mates had been male, and it was from them she had learnt most of what she did.

Once, when she was five, she had beaten up one of her brothers. He had taken something that was hers and tried to bully her. He was only a few months older than she was and although his mother had made sure that no one ignored that fact, Seyi had refused to call him "brother". That day, she gave him a painful bite and reportedly gave him a very heavy knock. Regardless of the fight that ensued afterward, especially from the boy's mother, Seyi managed to hammer in the point that she wouldn't be pushed down so easily.

The second time she had fought with and successfully beaten another of her older siblings happened a few years after the first. She was ten. Brother Dare was popular among the children- he was the second child and so, was much older than them all. He had been out of secondary school when Seyi was still young- Six years ago.

Seyi had never really liked him at all. Most likely because she had heard a lot about him from her mother.

Màámi had called him; irresponsible, drunk, and a disgrace to Chief's titled name. He hadn't been to the University since he left high school. She had heard different versions of the tale. Some said that he dropped out in the first year and followed a bad gang and others were, that he never even gotten admitted at all in the first place. Either way, the rumours contributed towards her hate for her own elder brother.

Brother Oludare came home frequently. When he came, he'll ask the younger ones to bring out stools for him. Sometimes, he gave them money to buy beer and spirits and told them to use the little change left to buy groundnuts for themselves. It was probably for this, that they liked him. After that, he'll bring his friends and they would play Ludo and talk loudly throughout the day.

Seyi disliked the way he drank, she disliked his friends too because she believed that they were the ones who made him to. Not that she didn't like the fact that he drank at all, her father, the Chief, after all, drank a little. Chief drank beer and sometimes, wine; when they had visitors or during Christmas. But he drank responsibly. Brother Dare reeked of drink and during his late-night outings, he sometimes came and vomited in front of his mother's room. Once, Chief scolded him openly for being a "bad influence" to his younger siblings.

The day she fought with him, he had asked herself and another sibling to buy drinks, as usual, for himself and his friends. While her other siblings were elated, she had been annoyed. She had other things to do than run, carrying cold bottles in black nylon bags. So, she had said it outright. Brother Dare was infuriated and he slapped her for being sassy. She screamed that day, and bit his hand so hard, blood came out. While he withdrew with shock, she used the opportunity to make her escape but he dragged her back by her shirt. Seyi fought fists, hands, teeth, hitting him everywhere available. Finally, the commotion drew attention and the mothers came to separate them.

Seyi was punished afterward although, she escaped being beaten because her father was particular about her delicate skin and, her mother had fought against it but, once again, the young girl told her siblings in her actions: I'm a cannonball. Avoid me.

Growing up in a polygamous family, especially one that wasn't so rosy shaped a lot in her. Many times, there would be quarrels among the wives and each child had to stick to his own mother and siblings.

The mother and children then became a sort of nuclear family. Every other brother and sister and mother was distant, treated like a far related member. She learned to not trust her step-siblings or their mothers because they might "want to hurt her." She learnt to hustle and rat race to win their father's affection. But, it also gave her something worth calling good: an extra bond with her closer siblings. They became her playmates, best friends, and, only "real" siblings. She called her mother; Màámi which means my mother, while her stepmothers were "Iya Tolu" "Iya Seun"... (Tolu's mother, Seun's mother...)

So, while she grew a special kind of love for her siblings, her stepfamily were mere playmates and neighbours.

Her childhood was a series of eventful days that grew into years and finally saw her, an adolescent. And as they say, calmness comes with years. At least, everyone hoped. Seyi got into secondary school at eleven years old. She was literally "thrown" into a boarding school. Her family wasn't strangers to the school, it had rather become one of their favourite school options. Five of her elder ones had graduated before her, so, she was just another welcome addition to the Oyekanmi students. Perhaps, it was her days in secondary school, or, just regular teenage transformation, but she grew, slowly, into a more temperate young woman. Still burning with energy, but now, directed into a virtue.