I Know it is not Common to Cry.

I can still hear the sound of her voice, I can hear her whisper to my ears that she loves me and it echoes over and over again in my head. I don't know if it is a good thing or a curse that will never leave and hunts me until the day that I forget her. But I know that is not easy. I can still feel her hair on my face when it dances with the wind, It is annoying back then but now, I weirdly missed it, it is true that there are things that you can only appreciate when it is already gone.

I can still smell her perfume stuck in my bed, every time I will go to sleep or lie in my bed my tears will suddenly drop, I can't control it but I think it is common in a few days after two lovers go in their separate ways.

I don't know what to say or react to when someone talks to me and asks me questions like how our relationship going. I will don't know what to say but I always stood up and answer it is just fine, but deep those words are tearing me down inch by inch.

I wonder where my life would go when I build my dreams around her. When even the color of our future house is her idea, I wonder what should I do next. Should I savor this feeling so when I love again and when the same incident happened I will not be affected by it so much? And when I happen again I will know what to do.

Or should I let this feeling go and move on to the next stage of my life, find another woman and start again or rebuild myself and let the moment or chance come to me?

Can I have the courage to love again? or what should I do when she suddenly comes back? is it normal to think like this?

I remember the first time we meet, it was a cold night and I see her walking on the sidewalk. I know we are headed in the same direction so I let it happen. The day's sidewalk gets so dark in some parts of our town, she stops for a while before stepping further into the dark, I know she was scared.

I walked past her she did not move a muscle, I ask her if she want to walk with me to pass through this dark alleyway and she said yes. That time I don't really know if she knows me, so I ask her.

she answers and as she talks, I suddenly feel that the time slows a bit while I am looking at her, I look away before she notices that I am staring directly at her eyes.

We pass the dark part of the sidewalk and she is still talking, so I ask her if she want to walk with me tomorrow on the way home and she said yes.

I can't explain the feeling that I feel, but I feel so happy and light, I wonder if it is going to last.

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