Last night I sleep very late because I have an exam today for my Clinical Pathology. It is a hard subject because it is one of my major subjects. Today I woke up late, feeling tired and irritated due to incomplete sleep and too much coffee in my circulation. I am preparing for this examination for almost 4 days straight, and my kind of exhausted.
I am making a reviewer for it, I am retyping everything from the PDF that my professor gave me and I am adding the side notes and important things he is saying. This exam covers many topics, like Introduction to Clinical Pathology, Hematology, Leukocytes, and Thrombocytes.
This topic is almost the basics of Clinical pathology and it must be learned by all students. This topic is about the blood that circulates in our body, how it affects us when a certain cell increases and decreases. This topic will also tackle about what will the effect of the cells when it increases or decreases, What will happen to them when you are stress or in pain, like in inflammation.
This subject is interesting, fun, and hard at the same time. This will challenge both your knowledge and skills in understanding many things in the body. It is overwhelming for me sometimes, because I don`t have much experience in blood collection, because when we are about to study about it in school the pandemic arrived and all the classes are canceled. So because of this many students like me suffer from that kind of problem, and it is hard for us and sometimes it is degrading for me. Like many of my classmates are good at it because they have time to work part-time in the clinics during this pandemic. But for me, I can`t work in the clinic even part-time or full-time because, Last three months I am in charge to take care of my younger brother, and second I get infected by covid last month.
With this thing in my mind, I feel so pressured to learn all of the things I needed in order to become a good doctor. It gives me problems and sleepless nights, I am thing over and over again if I am fitted to this kind of profession when there are many things that I don`t know how to perform. I know it will take time, but I am so left behind and I am chasing them slowly. I feel so left out when they are talking about it and I feel so down when I don`t know something that they know.
The time has come, the exam will begin in less than an hour. This put a lot of pressure on me because if I fail these 4 exams that are come this whole semester, I will re-take all the whole subject next year and that is a bad thing for me. When I fail, It will put an additional year and when it happens it will take a longer time for me to graduate.
The exam takes 1 hour and I am done, it is so hard and it becomes harder because of the time limit. I think I can`t get a higher score than 40. It is so hard and many of the questions are taking too much time to read and the same with the choices.
The result will be out in a few hours or tomorrow, but for now, I don`t want to think about it. I want to get some good rest and do things that I want. I don`t want to stress myself more and more to things I can`t change any more.
I finish the day talking to my friends and planning to watch some movies but it never happens because we are all exhausted for the whole week studying for the exam and doing things in the school that needs to be done this week. It is nice to have friends near my house when we all feel stressed we will take time out in all the work and hang for some time and before the night ends we all go to sleep and wait for tomorrow that will stress us again.