"If you fail to plan, you plan to fail"

Benjamin Franklin, 1970

It is often said that so many marriages fail because the would be couples only concentrated on the planning for the one day event of the solemnization rather than focusing on the journey beyond the event which I dare say is more important and comes with a payload of responsibilities.

This is because after the successful solemnization event usually characterized by pomp and pageantry, the reality sets in that the road ahead will not always be smooth rather there'll be times when it appears as though the end has come. Such turbulent times aren't for the faint hearted.

It is on occasions such as those that the men are separated from the boys and women from the girls. It is only those who truly believe in the union and are ready to work for its success that will have the strength to weather such storms. Marriage like life is not a bed of roses. It has its ups and downs. There are good times and not so good times. There are times one spouse will get on the nerves of the other so much so that, either party may be tempted to throw in the towel and call it quits.

This is where compassion and understanding comes in. These two ingredients are key for any union to be successful. These ingredients are what will make spouse overlook the offences or shortcomings of the other in order for things to work. The absence of compassion and understanding is a recipe for disaster as sometimes love isn't just enough.

It is also important to state however that there are instances where couples must simply part ways when things aren't working out. There's no point for a couple being together when everyday interaction is almost akin to being at the battlefront while dodging a constant barrage of projectiles from the 'enemy'.

A union where the physical or mental health of either couple is being jeopardized by the actions of the either party needs to be ended after all reasonable attempts at resolution or resolving the issues have been made. There is no benchmark for what constitutes reasonable attempt(s). Either couple has to decide when they've sincerely had enough when there's no resolution to the lingering issues in sight.

This outcome sometimes plays out when either spouse didn't do a proper background check or they allowed themselves to be blinded by 'love' when there were clear signs of incompatibility. Some times love isn't the only reason for turning a blind eye, it could be the prospect of acquiring wealth or influence as a benefit from the union. Unions built on foundations such as these will eventually collapse as they were centered on things that are simply not enough to sustain a happy home.

To be continued

Thank you for reading.