Disclaimer : This is not my story,
but from someone I personally know. This is my story for a full year without cigarette, following 38 years during which I smoked an average of a pack and a half a day. By the time I quit, I was up to two packs a day - which makes a total of approximately 398,000 cigarettes - not a record, of course, but enough to qualify me as an expert witness.
Early in my agonizing withdrawal, when I could see myself succeeding, I made up my mind not to be a missionary trying to convert everyone else. After all, if I have gone puffing away for all those 38 years, ignoring some fairly plain medical evidence on every pack of cigarette I buy, then why I should become intolerant of a person to smokers younger than me?
Withdrawal is not easy. My own reaction could even be called violent; I became easily irritated and short-tempered. On one occasion I gave a severe scolding on one of my close friends. These weren’t just first day reactions. These carried over for weeks and to some degree I became a worst person unimaginable. I'm glad I didn't get a lawsuit or a hospital break from getting into troubles.
The depth of these withdrawal symptoms, and their persistence led me to think that perhaps the worst thing about cigarettes is not what they do to your heart, lungs, throat and nerves, but the addiction itself and the conditioning in your brain that you can’t live without it.
Stop suddenly or gradually? As for me it was suddenly, after many months of thing about it but never getting around to it. Like thousands of others, in my heart I know I should quit, and then one day I did. Every single day is a cycle of counting in hours. I sleep early on bedtime at 9pm and when I woke up the next morning I would tell myself to complete the struggling hours of the day of no cigarette. When I got home and snuggled to bed again at 9pm, I would tell myself “1 day – 24 hours”. Another cycle the next day of “2 days – 48 hours” and so on, next I got tired counting in hours and days, next I was counting in weeks, then months.
One day, a colleague who has been observing that I wasn’t smoking asked, “How long has it been?” I stood there thinking, trying to figure out just how long it has been. Suddenly, I started laughing because I realized that my uncertainty meant I won!
People kept on asking, “How do I feel?” and in the early stages I had to say, “Terrible.” But, I couldn.t deny the changes are remarkable - the occasional coughing disappeared, and shortness of breath. Instead I gained extra weight – mainly fats, and on body parts where I didn’t want it. This weight must be due to the heaps of strategies I have to do in order to break the cigarette habit. I used every weapon I could – chewing gum, candy bars, peanuts. Though the food I consumed at meals did not increase significantly but the cravings after every meals and break time paved way to drinking chocolate milk, tea, but not just that, with it are biscuits or a slice of bread with butter or jam. Later on, I have to devote some time to exercise and get rid of the extra weight.
Another question people asked: “Does it bother me to to see others smoke?” Not a bit. I think I was enjoying the benefits of not smoking. Aside from improved health and a certain amount of money saved, I’ve seen no more burns in the carpet, linen and furniture. My desk improves with less dust too!
Life Lesson:
We can get addicted to anything, not only cigarettes. And talking with him makes me realize that there is always something we can do with with every or any addiction we have. We only need to equalized or better exceed our persistence to change, over our persistence of craving these things. Like, mind over matter. Conditioning your mind and thoughts away from the things that tempts you to madly indulge into.
I want to share this short poem about the moth and the flame. This perfectly resembles how your relationship with addiction started and where this will take you.
The Moth don't care when he sees The Flame.
He might get burned, but he's in the game.
And once he's in, he can't go back, he'll
Beat his wings 'til he burns them black...
No, The Moth don't care when he sees The Flame. . .
The Moth don't care if The Flame is real,
'Cause Flame and Moth got a sweetheart deal.
And nothing fuels a good flirtation,
Like Need and Anger and Desperation...
No, The Moth don't care if The Flame is real. . .
- Aimee Mann
Photos from Pixabay (no attribution required)
Photo below is mine
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I'm glad you were able to kick that dangerous vice. It bothers me when smokers leave their smoke around me. After I quit smoking I have wanted everyone to quit.