“I love baby Jan,” the mother continued wearily, “but chasing her around tires me more every day. On the days when I feel that I screamed and break into tears – on such days I question whether it’s right and acceptable for me to keep on having babies just because I can.”

This was the line of our neighbor when we had a short conversation in my mom's mini-convenience store. I know, being a mother is a great responsibility, thus it requires decision making as a woman - and together, as a couple. Well, I'm clueless if they have such a serious discussion about this yet. For me, it does warrant a real head-to-head talk with each other, and not all couples do that. Some just have children whenever they like without considering other issues in life!

Nevertheless, I still believe that majority of parents ask themselves the same question. The question is seriously personal but there are reasons for downsizing parenthood, reasons that we must consider with our hearts and our heads.

Why?

First, it’s time to recognize that the world’s population dilemma is everyone’s problem. If a polluted river, fouled skies and uncontrolled poverty exist in a nation of only 300 million people, what will be the quality of life soon on the future? What will it be like after a century?

In addition to thinking about the quality of life in a national sense, we must consider the quality of living with our own four walls. Do we always have cash in our cookie jars for vacation, hobbies and family activities? Or can we devote equally our time to our children? As a child myself, I tried to isolate myself when my mother was so involved with my younger brothers and sisters, sometimes I always got the punishment when I tried to confront them, my mom would shout at me that as the eldest I should always understand and be considerate for them. Now, I was contemplating, how can a parent with two or more children can provide the emotional security and stimulating environment that they want for their children to have?

Too many children can also strain on a husband’s shoulder as the breadwinner. They might be working daytime and night time jobs, overtime on Saturdays. Whenever he’s home he sleeps. Talking about quality of life – do we even really have a 'family' bonding time?

As a mother, you might want to look at other “life options”.

1.A full or part time job. This can have psychological as well as financially rewarding.

2.An avocation. If you have no interest or in need of a job, how about participating on creative outlets or projects, becoming the kind of interesting woman who makes her children and family proud.

3.A return to school. To continue schooling or obtain vocational training, an investment in continuing education will add a new dimension in your life and keep you in step with your children.

4.Volunteer work. Certainly if love for children is your reason for another baby. A volunteer job at a day-care center can be a meaningful alternative.

Conclusion

We know that children are blessings, and the love a child can give is amazingly satisfying, and that all must always put this above anything else. But all thoughtful couples should consider the pros and cons and basic realities surrounding parenthood.

As parents you have to equipped them morally, not only financially - that is the main responsibility. Never think that babies will just grow without your conscious effort to nurture them, teach and discipline them - look out for them.

"Beware that you don’t look down on any of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels are always in the presence of my heavenly Father." - Matthew 18:10

Think again.

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Photos from Pixabay (free to use)

Photo below is Mine

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