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Many people have good families and look happy at home, but many people don't have a good relationship with their families like their mothers or siblings. One of them was a female friend who I had recently confided in about the relationship between her and her mother. She told me that in her daily life, she had bad interactions with her mother. With such bad interactions, the situation in the house becomes stiff, many sentences sound annoying, and there is no communication in the house. After listening to her life story, I think she has harbored this tiredness for a long time.
Although I have not yet built a household, I have learned that the dynamics of interaction in every family are different. This family dynamic is a combination of various individual personalities in it. Therefore, we often get different attitudes when facing a situation in the family. The annoying thing is getting treatment that corners our position at home. I don't get a clear reason why my friend's mother's attitude always corners her. I think because of the problem of thoughts, and emotion, or also because of the pile of judgments that are in her. Her mother's attitude towards her was beyond my friend's control.
What all of you should know is, that even though we all have family ties to our parents and sisters/brothers, we are still different individuals. We each have our way of life. Realize that individuals do not have the power to change what is inside of others including mothers and siblings. The only thing we can control is ourselves. So, how do we deal with situations that involve feelings related to other people or family? One of them is "Accept". You have to be able to accept that you are in a family that needs mutual communication.
You also have to be able to accept that you have a mother who has different characteristics from you. To be able to cultivate an "accepting" attitude, you must first have a "forgiving" attitude. Try to forgive everything unpleasant and hurt feelings that your family has done to you. Acceptance and forgiveness are not easy things to do. Slowly you try to forgive and accept, then the disappointment you feel with today's circumstances can be slowly regulated by yourself.
Even though we as individuals cannot control what other people do, we can try to make others understand how we feel. The trick is to communicate assertively. Communication is the only way we can do it, but it feels so heavy when it contains a lot of emotional content. You will find it difficult to express your complaints and all your heart to someone. Wait until you are quite ready, and try to train yourself to express your feelings. You can practice this communication with the closest people you trust, for example, your husband.
In my opinion, telling your husband about your mother's feelings is the right choice. This is not looking for allies to stay away from your mother, but, there will be a new perspective after you tell your complaints to your husband about your mother. Telling your husband can also get input to improve the situation you are currently experiencing. If you are ready, you can invite your mother to sit together and share the hearts of both parties. It might be very awkward and weird the first time. But, if no one gets started, this awkwardness could last much longer. I hope that the relationship between my friend and her mother will improve soon with good communication. I believe that a very romantic situation is where the mother and child are open to each other about their feelings.
For those of you who experience a similar thing, try to be able to be forgiving and accepting. Then, try to talk to your parents when you're ready to talk. I hope, today's article can be useful for all of you. Regards.