This article may be helpful in the event of an unbalanced friendship. In the modern era, this is often called a toxic relationship. Toxic is a relationship that has a greater detrimental impact than mutual benefit.
Everyone would expect a friendship that can understand each other, listen to each other, provide motivation, and be there in good times and bad. However, not all friends can give such an impact. Often we meet friends who only think about themselves, their opinions always want to be accepted, but reject the opinions of others.
Some even badmouth others so that they are pitied and then accepted as friends. Having a friend like that must feel very uncomfortable because of the lopsided relationship. Friends like that are called toxic friends. Then, how to deal with the toxic friend.
How to Overcome Toxic Friends
When you feel uncomfortable with the relationship of a friendship, while the friendship that has existed for a very long time or has been friends from childhood. It is better to take action for the discomfort experienced because if you continue to be silent and resigned, the consequences will only get worse.
How to deal with toxic friends doesn't have to be done harshly or cruelly. If it is handled like that, then there will be no difference between toxic and non-toxic friends. Someone can handle it in a subtle way and if it doesn't hurt the toxic friend, because sometimes people behave badly because they want to get more attention from the people around them.
1. Recognize the Attitude of Friends
Someone who has many friends must know the attitude and nature of his friends towards him, to know which friend has a toxic personality. If one of your friends has such a personality, it's best to be more careful. Toxic people don't have to be shunned if their attitude isn't too severe, they just need to be more vigilant.
Recognizing the attitude and nature of each friend is very necessary to do. Because not all friends have a good attitude and can understand each other. So, before actually deciding to make a closer friendship, you can first research what it is like. If someone has a toxic attitude, then they can take action to deal with the toxic friend.
2. Don't easily believe
In every meeting, a toxic friend will always talk about himself, making the target more compassionate and able to pay attention to him. However, when asked to listen to someone else's story, that person would divert the conversation and not respond, continuing to tell himself as if he had become the saddest person.
If you already know about his toxic personality, then the way to deal with a toxic friend is not to easily believe what is being said. Usually, toxic people are too self-deprecating, tell everyone that everyone has turned away from them, and dramatize every plot of the story. From the sad story, other people will easily sympathize and sometimes can just believe it.
3. Dare to Reject
If a toxic friend invites you to negative things or does something that seems negative, you should have the courage to refuse. Of course, do not refuse in a way that is too obvious, can refuse subtly. Like saying that there are other activities or appointments with other people, and so on (a bit of a lie).
4. Limit Distance
Limiting the distance with him is also one way to deal with toxic friends, you can limit them slowly. At first, the closeness with a friend is around 90%, it can be reduced slowly by shifting to other activities if the friend comes because usually toxic friends talk a lot at other times or give a signal so that their wishes can be fulfilled.
Don't always dwell on discomfort, being around a toxic friend must be very uncomfortable or too tired to listen to all the stories because other people are never allowed to speak. Divert your attention to something else if you feel bored with the story or take it somewhere.
5. Avoid Negative Conversations
Another way to deal with toxic friends is to avoid negative conversations. If it comes to badmouthing other people or other negative conversations, you should not be too responsive, just respond with a smile or other things that can make him bored to continue. It could also be by diverting to other topics, for example discussing lessons at school and so on.
6. Frankly
Don't just be silent and try to keep your distance, if the friend is indeed an old friend, then help to be aware of his attitude all this time. Because it certainly wasn't done to just one person, other people would also get that kind of treatment and it would be even more widespread if it wasn't stopped immediately.
The first way to help her is to talk candidly about her attitude. Consciously or not, intentional or not, this attitude is not good for the people around him, let alone his old friends or friends. Going on and on might be the way to deal with a toxic friend that will offend you a little. However, if no one said it directly, such a person would not change, it could even get worse.
7. Helping Him Change
If you can accept other people's opinions about the toxic attitude that has been done so far, then a friend who influences him or an old friend can help change his toxic attitude. Reprimand and always be by his side so that the things he does again do not harm others.
8. Stay away from it
How to deal with this last toxic friend if his attitude is already severe and he can't accept other people's words. If someone is frank about their attitude, that person will complain to others that they have been hurt. This can be in the realm of playing victims, not only harming but also distorting the facts.
The methods above tell you that if you are already involved with a toxic friend, then don't immediately walk away from him, because it will sound bad and can hurt. If you have been hurt, sometimes a toxic friend will take it out on others, looking for more targets.
The way to deal with a toxic friend can be in a subtle way first, being careful, and if you can help him get out of his bad attitude. Then it will be a good thing for people who can do it. Every talk of toxic people should not be trusted just like that, must find the truth first.
If you are too trusting and easy to sympathize with him, it will be bad for you. It could be hating people who shouldn't be hated, thinking people are wrong even though they haven't done anything wrong. If it is like that, then it means that you have been entangled too deeply in his deception and it will be difficult to get out of the trap.
Regret will come if you realize too late about a friend's toxic personality, staying away from him maybe the most effective way to deal with a toxic friend. However, if you are already familiar and very close, it will be difficult to do that. Therefore, recognize the attitude and nature of all friends, don't be in a circle of toxic friends.
It's better not to be friends than to have friendships that make life unhappy like toxic friendships. I better be honest with her if my friend is toxic.