My Favorite Stories About Myself

Hello guys good morning. It's a great day, go out and show the world how awesome you are...!!! I hope you know that in proud of you, and expect great things from you? Well, now you do, so go out, take the fight to life, and unleash the warrior within!!!

Today, I bring you stories about none other than yours truly.

Growing up for me wasn't fun by any stretch of the imagination. I describe my growing up as a delicate balance between happiness and sadness. I had harsh realities I had to deal with, but there were some rewarding things about my family too. No matter the training and where I grew up, I always had my eccentricities, and I don't believe it's such a bad thing as everyone is entitled so a few I believe.

Today, I'm sharing some of my idiosyncrasies and how they are hilarious in hindsight. Enjoy guys.

1) My Unique Brand of Laziness

If you've ever met anyone who hates work, then you can trace his origin back to me for I, truly am the father, god and master of all laziness!!! I'm so lazy, sometimes it's just hilarious. When we were young and our pumping machine spoilt, we had to fetch water in buckets to places in the house. Normal lazy people would try to shy away from the work, but I thought that was illogical as you can't really run away from such things forever and even doing it sluggishly would only mean elongating the process, so, I, in my infinite laziness would decide the best thing to do is fill the bucket to the brim.

Now, this was just hilarious because I would end up spilling water all over the floor, thing the same number of trips as I would had I not filled it so, and also have to mop the floor which was more work!!!

I eventually would come to terms with the fact that I was probably going to work now from filling the bucket to the brim, bit I still did it on the off chance that I could lessen the work even a little. Yeah, I hate work so much that I'll do the stupidest things just on the off chance I can avoid a little more work.

Still on the topic of my laziness. I wash clothes everyday. This is still following the same pattern of thinking. I don't like waiting till Saturday when I'm have piled up clothes for the week. Every clothe I add to the pile of dirty clothes then used to give me headaches because I was pushing lots of work till later. So I decided to start washing everyday. So every morning, before I bathe, I would wash the clothes I wore the previous day. This is hilarious considering the fact that even when I was washing lots of clothes, it never took me ten minutes to wash a huge pile because basically, me washing was putting all the clothes in water and detergent, rolling it, and squeezing, then rinsing it in the same fashion! The thing is if anybody should be bothered about piling up clothes it should never be me because I wash about 15 clothes in the same time some people take to wash one or two!!!

2 My Early Cooking Skills

I was so poor at cooking you could see cockroaches puking when they tasted my food!!!! I remember when I first got to the University. I asked my friend how long it took to boil eggs. He told me to boil until the water was almost dry. So I filled to pot and put eggs inside. It took me about 40 minutes and when I was complaining that the eggs were still not boiled, my friend started making fun of me. Then, there's the fact that I'm always trying to do things the easy way... Looking for a hack of sorts... This is kind of related to my Laziness. Why bother trying to look for and remember a nice order of you can find an ingredient that works for every food. So, I, trying to be smart decided to add the sweetest known substance to man to every food I cooked...

Well, as you would expect, or didn't turn out well with every food. I hate t rice till this day!!! But I can't cook sugar without beans (no it's not beans without sugar if the amount of sugar exceeds the amount of beans!!!). They go so well together. Other that work well would be yam and sugar, and plantain chips and sugar.

After this, I hope you guys don't find me too weird. Thanks for reading. I may tell more of these stories tomorrow. Let me know if you found any hilarious... Love you guys...