October 1, 2021
Good day everyone. It's the first day of October and I hope it went smooth for all of you. 2 more months then 2022 will be going to say hello to us. I hope when 2021 ends, the covid will end too so that we can go back to our normal life like before. Is it possible? Who knows? Let's just hope for the best.
Do you experience feeling something odd suddenly? Like you know you're okay and at the same time not? Okay, let me rephrase it. Do you experience having a sudden sadness feeling that makes you upset? You're okay now then a little later you're not.
Is it because you're overthinking so much? Or is it because there's something that happened to you? Or things don't work the way you wanted them?
When do you feel this kind of feeling what things do you do to divert it? Or you just let it beat you and wait for it to fade away?
Last night was not that good to me. I ended September with tears falling in my eyes. I don't know why but I am feeling heavy and I feel like I need to burst out this sadness within me through crying. Something happened here in the house which I decided not to share here because it's too personal. But one thing is sure, that makes me stress and sad. I even posted in noise cash about these feelings of mine and I receive some comments which motivate me and cheer me up. Thanks to all especially to ate @FarmGirl :) I appreciate it a lot.
Even this morning, I don't feel better. Waking up having a sad feeling is not good. As much as I don't want to feel this kind of feeling because I want to start this month with positive vibes but I can't help it. So what I did was to go with it, when I am finished eating breakfast I went back to sleep with a heavy heart. Then I woke up at exactly noon but I didn't eat lunch. I don't have any appetite, I know it's not good for my health especially in my situation right now so I asked my sister to buy me some food that makes my tummy full.
This is what I want when I am stressed or bad mood instead of eating rice I eat these foods. It somehow lifted my mood. I love the banana cue and ginataang halo-halo that much.
Also here's what's in front of me a while ago. Mikki's weird position haha. I enjoyed seeing this cute cat sleeping in this kind of position. I again envy him for just sleeping and eating without thinking about any problems.
And today is Friday and my report on one of our subjects happened tonight. It was postponed twice and I prayed that it should not be postponed again now. I already study it for days but still, I have this nervous feeling. So, I review it again before the time comes. It's hard to study when you have something in mind or when you are overthinking too much. It gives me a mental block in which I forget what's the next word to say.
Even though I am thinking too much about the things that make me sad. I managed to review and study my report well, I didn't let this negative thought of mine ruined my report. Before our class starts, I took a selfie of myself practising smiling because our prof requires us to open our cameras while reporting and I don't want my classmates to see me looks like a mess so I try hard to lift my mood and smile often.
And thank God, I and my group mates delivered our topic well. We also answered the questions that the other groups asked us. Somehow I feel a bit happy.
The good thing before our internet connection was lost, I finished my report already and it's 11 minutes before the class ends. So I just messaged our prof about my internet and she just say it's okay. I don't know what happened to our internet connection because we just pay it a while ago then they cut it off haha but it's doesn't last long.
And now, while writing I should say that my mood now is okay and I am feeling better. The problem here is also fixed I guess? I don't want to end this first day of October with an odd feeling. I just want to spend the whole month being happy and optimistic.
I am planning to write my September report but decided to postpone it and publish this one. Maybe tomorrow, I will be able to publish it. I am seeing lots of reports about what happened to their September. Good job guys! You all deserved what you have achieved. Let's grind again this month :) fighting.
I already cheer up myself now and I am now better. Thanks to all your support guys. Thanks to this platform, it allows me to express my thoughts and what I feel.
God bless us all.
It's really hard to have that kind of heavy feeling. I overthink things but I am trying to just let it be and I would asked God to give me strength and courage so I won't think about thosr problems, stress and worries. 😇