Sentiments of a single lady about love

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2 years ago

1 Corinthians 13:1-8, 13

13:1 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

13:2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing.

13:3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

13:4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud

13:5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.

13:6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.

13:7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

13:8 Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever!

13:13 Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

I have an honest confession to make. I have never experienced being in a romantic relationship with a man before. All I do is have a crush on anime characters and korean actors.

No one has ever tried to become my suitor. The only thing I know is that there are men who confessed that they like me but none of them liked me enough to pursue me.

Well, it's fine with me and I can't be bothered about it but what I don't understand are people in a relationship who asks me for an advice about their love life and when I start giving an advice they'll tell me, you can say that because you have never been in love. My response was yeah that's true but who came to whom first to ask for an advice? Then our conversation ends there.

Scenario #1: I have a friend who has been in a relationship with her boyfriend since they were 13 years old. The boy cheated on her for a few times already and she always let it pass. The boy was too strict with her and he always make sure that my friend will only have him and no one else. One time the boy cheated with a photo as an evidence. My friend was bothered and ask for an advice from us. Take note, this happened just a month after the boy proposed to her.

We asked her to come with us to unwind but when her boyfriend knew about it, he told her that they will talk. So our friend decided not to come with us anymore only to know that they didn't talk that day. He just fetched her from our workplace then went home as if nothing happened. Her boyfriend didn't cheat and she wasn't cheated.

It also came to a point when he was jealous of one of her male student for chatting to her about her given project. When I learned about this, I was speechless. Her boyfriend is too narrow minded and he's never open to possibilities that his girlfriend will not cheat on him. It's simply because he always cheats on he and he doesn't want to experience the same thing.

Scenario #2: I have another friend who was so dependent with her boyfriend. Everything she does must match what her boyfriend does. The only difference between her and the my other friend from the 1st scenario is that she is free to do whatever she wants.

She was about to apply to a new job. Me and my other friend was asking her to come with us so we can all process our requirements together. Her response was she was going to ask her boyfriend first about it. I'm not saying that this is wrong since I know that it's a normal thing to do since she's already in a relationship.

But the thing is, now she asks us about our ongoing application because it turns out that she was unable to process it because her boyfriend can't come with her. I'm definitely sure that this is not what she was expecting from me and our other friend, so we decided not to tell her about our next steps towards other things to do for our application.

Those are just a few scenarios but it's enough to enlighten me about what a relationship should do to me.

A relationship should make me better not bitter. I need to grow separated from my future husband so when we're together, we're both ready to take our relationship to the next step.

There must be privacy in relationships. I don't I need to know his Facebook password if we both trust each other enough.

Never settle for less. If he has cheated once, he can surely do it again. If he shows red flags, it's much better to end the relationship than to make it last thinking that he'll still change for the better.

I also need to be the right woman for him. It's important not just to pray for the right man but to become the right woman as well.

It's much better to be single than to be in a relationship with no peace and security. I'm not in a rush. I'll surely get to that point in life but one thing is for sure, that's not now.

We must have the same faith. It's important that we have the same faith in order to make our relationship work. We need to be serving the same God in the same faith.

A relationship must not be hurried. When people hurry they often make mistakes and I don't want it to happen to me. It's better to stay single than to be with the wrong person.

A relationship is an investment. I will have to invest time, effort, love, money and other things. I don't want to invest those things to someone I'm not sure I'll be forever with.

A relationship must lead to a marital relationship. If he has no plans of getting married to me then I don't want to settle with just a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship. We must both stay pure until we get the blessings of God and our families.

A relationship must be willing to adjust. I admit that I'm not perfect and I will never be able to do it by myself. I also admit that it's difficult for me to trust someone. I have insecurities, I have flaws, I have imperfections and trust issues. I'm a reserved type of person and I can't open up myself easily. I'm also having a hard time to express myself.

Two people must make a relationship work. We both need to adjust to cater each other's need. We must both make an effort for each other.

Plans together. We must both reach our dreams and goals separately so when we meet we are both prepared to have each other.

Family. We must both make sure that we spend quality time with our own families. It's not just about the two of us, but also about the people around us.

To be honest, I have my own struggles with myself. I was hoping that when we meet, were both ready to be together.


January 14, 2021


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2 years ago


Very well said.

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