Quick Escapade

Today I went to Bakasyunan in Tanay. It was for free together with our meals so it's definitely fine. There had been a lot of things going on my mind so I thought I should come too. I enjoyed the long ride on the van while going there together with my other workmates. I was silent the whole ride because all of them knew each other correctly while I don't know any of them.

I arrived in our meeting place at around 6:30 a.m. whereas I've only had a 4 hours of sleep. I woke up at 4:30, took a bath then left the house. I walked all the way to the jeepney stop then went to the meeting place where most of my workmates are already having a conversation. I felt too awkward to even speak, although they asked me to join them. They were happily laughing and telling stories while I sat there listening to them.

We departed at 7:30 a.m. then had an almost 3 hours of travel from Quezon City to Tanay Rizal. I almost didn't have a seat in the van if not for the other two of my workmates who decided to just bring their own car. I decided to put my earphones on and listen to the music whereas I can still hear them laughing and telling stories with each other. I smile from time to time since I have a face mask and they can't actually see my facial expressions.

Upon entering the resort where we had the day tour, I was amazed with it's relaxing ambiance and cold breeze of air. There is also a beautiful sight to behold. We went upstairs but I felt so out of place. My first thought was "I shouldn't have come" and "I don't belong here." They were taking pictures while I just try to fit in with them. They have formed their groups while I was there watching them converse with one another.

During the breakfast I sat at farthest end of the table where the late comers sat. I sat there and ate quietly not until my two coworkers decided to speak to me. I just answered their questions and tried to speak with them but it only lasted for a few minutes. After the breakfast I asked those two workmates of mine if I can tag along with them as they explore the whole place. They immediately said yes.

After that, my boss asked me to come with her in one of the rooms to drop off my bag. After dropping off my bag I asked if they can take a picture of me on the picture spots in the area and so we took turns in taking pictures of each other. Then, I'm alone again. I walked away from them up to the bench because they are conversing with each other and happily laughing. I don't really belong there.

When my two coworkers decided to continue exploring the place I tagged along with them because I have no one to be with and I don't want to look as though I'm trying to distance myself away from them. I was with another group which are the other department where I've had a lot of fun by myself. I was laughing at what's happening but at the same time, I know that they just chose to talk to me and include me in their group because they don't want to be rude.

I enjoyed if not for the fact that I don't really belong there since I don't know them personally. I was hoping that there'll be new employees like me whom I can get along with. I actually told my boss that I am out of place and she told me that if I want, I can stay with her instead but I don't want to be like a lost child who is in need of a mother to look after me.

I was told to join the first car to leave the place so they can switch cars. I don't plan to join but since it has been decided, I thought that it would be much better to go home early to end the awkwardness in me. After lunch and during the last hour of my stay there, I sang songs in the Videoke. I sang "You're still the one", "Terrified" and "Thinking of you". After three songs, I went home. And I'm glad I did because if I didn't it might be traffic already on our way back to Quezon City.

If ever there'll be another outing for our level and department, I wouldn't come anymore because I don't want a repeat of what happened today. I don't want to be alone again and have this awkward feeling in me. Well, not unless of it's free or mandatory.

Love_16

March 9, 2022

Wednesday