Making decisions when over powered by emotions

Emotions

Emotions are something we have no control of. It's what makes us more human because it reminds us that we can get hurt, happy, sad in pain and other forms of emotions.

This why we tend to commit rash actions which we feel that is okay since it's what we feel or how we feel. We also tend to say to those who try to comfort us or rationalize with us that they don't know our pain.

The reality of life is that we can't always have our way in everything. We can't always be on point and we can never ask the people around us the way we treat them.

We can never dictate our hearts whom it'll love. We can't ask the person we love to love us back. We can't force ourselves to those people who doesn't like us. We can't always be happy. We can't always feel loved by those people who are dear to us.

Dangers of emotions

You see when were too emotional about something, all our rationality is gone. It's as if we have been bewitched by unknown spell and we tend to close our eyes and cover our wars from all the truth around us.

Last Saturday, I've watched a segment in tv where the woman was repeatedly cheated on but she chose to stay in that toxic relationship for five years. She was beautiful, educated and successful business woman. The man wanted to break up with her. He did so in front of her whole company. It even got to a point when she had a heart attack and when she was at the hospital she was still looking for that man.

My initial reaction was what's gotten into her? How can she continuously accept someone who has almost caused her life? But in her point of view, she just loved him too much. She was too blinded by 'love' which she was also able to overcome and she realized that he's not worth it.

Emotions might overpower us if we don't know how to control it.

Some even has forgotten about themselves just because they keep on saying that what they felt was love, but love isn't like that.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NLT

13:4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud

13:5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.

13:6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.

13:7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

13:8 Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever!

Love came from God so it is pure and it must not be used in a wrong way.

Don'ts when emotional

Don't allow yourself to be driven by your emotions. You can never control your emotions but you can control your actions when you're emotional.

When you're angry, don't speak the words you know you'll regret when your anger subsided. The words you have uttered can't be unheard by those who heard it.

When you feel so suffocated by your emotions, don't think of killing yourself. There's no hope for the dead but there is always hope for the living.

When you feel like no one loves you, don't be deceived. There are a lot of people who loves and cares for you. You might not be able to see it but they are there. They will surely cry and blame themselves for losing you.

When you're too tired to understand, don't push away the people who loves you. Take a rest. Sleep, eat and relax. Each person has his own limit. Remember that regret is always in the end.

When you felt like everything is too much, don't forget that there are people you love. It's saddening as to how a person can say hurtful words to someone they love as if it they never loved them.

When you're wrong, don't allow your pride to speak for you. Apologize even if isn't your fault. Weigh what matters for you. Is it your emotions or your relationship with that person?

When everything is too much, don't shut yourself out. Don't build walls around you. What you should be building are bridges to connect.

When there are misunderstandings, don't prolong your fights. Talk about it as soon as possible. If you allow it until the next day you'll start losing him or her.

When you're too emotional, don't decide rashly. Decisions done when emotional often leads to negative results.

Do's when too emotional

Cry out. This is one of the best therapies for me. I often cry silently. I'm ashamed to cry out loud. I feel comfortable knowing that it's just between me and God. I cry as long as I need to but after crying I make sure that I've cried everything out.

Take a rest. Being too emotional is tiring both physically and mentally. I replenish my energy by sleeping and eating even if I have to force myself. I eat a little amount of food because I don't want to get sick. I also believe that health is wealth.

Talk it out. Since I don't talk about the reasons why I'm too emotional, I often write about it though poems, quotes or in my devotional journal. I often share my struggles after I'm done being too emotional over it. I talk about it to a very few people whom I know can help me dealing with my problems.

Detoxify yourself. I do this when I'm too emotional. I don't open my social media accounts and I spend time praying while crying. There are also a few times when I journal when I felt the saddest so when I'm happy I'll have the chance to look back and see it as part of growing and learning.

Apologize when you need to. I do this not because I was in the wrong. I do this because I acknowledge that I am also at fault at some point and I value the person I had an argument or misunderstanding with. I don't care about my pride because it won't feed me. It will just do me no good.

Personal Experience:

Earlier today I was about to leave home to process a few requirements when I had an argument with my father. He has been angry with me for a few days now and I don't pay much attention to him. Most of the times I stay silent and I just allow him to vent out his anger towards me.

I've had enough and said a few words which I know made him rethink about his actions towards me.

"I don't know why you've been too angry with me the past few days. Don't worry I won't go home." Then I went out heaving because I really want to cry. When I was inside the bus, I was silently crying. I didn't open my phone. When I did I was chatted by my siblings as to where I'd stay if I didn't go home. I just told them that I will go home a little late.

Of course I have nowhere to go and I'm way too old to leave without a word. In the end I still went home and everyone was acting as if nothing happened. My family value privacy a lot which is why if there are unfortunate events in the family, we don't talk about it anymore.

I chat them not to get angry with our father. I even apologized for my actions.

You see, unmanaged emotions causes misunderstanding which leads to a bigger problem. It doesn't choose a specific age. You can never control it but you can control your actions. Emotions are not something we must be fearful about. It is always a part of us.

Love_16

January 11, 2021

Monday