Love for the family

So I was on hiatus but since it's my VL today, I thought about writing and sharing this article. Time flies so fast. Who would have thought that it's already February which people labeled as the month of love.

In my own opinion love must be celebrated everyday. It is natural to all of us since our creator is also the creator of love. There are different types of love but today I'll just be sharing about love for the family.

We all have a family. It might not be ideal but we will never be who we are without them. Even orphans or adopted children also has their own families. Families aren't just bound by blood. It's always more than that.

There are strangers who treat each other as family. They are those people who has nothing, but whenever they have the chance to help they never think twice of doing so. There were also societal experiment where they try to see who will help a person in need and I'm shocked knowing that the beggars are the ones who extends help even if they don't even have that much to provide for themselves.

There are friends who treat each other as family. It's a miracle to find genuine good friends who will never think twice if helping you in times of need. It's seldom to have a friend who will defend you in your absence and will never think twice of rebuking and correcting you when you make mistakes.

There are churchmates who treat each other as family. They are a strong support who aren't just after your physical well-being but most importantly your spiritual health and status. They will be your guide towards knowing what is right in this world which tells you that it's your feelings that matter even if you're committing sin. They will never tolerate you to do wrong but will lead you towards spiritual growth and maturity.

There are pets who are a family. Many pets aren't just mere pets. Their owners treat them as babies, or someone they can't live without. Most pets are fur babies whom their fur parents give everything for them. They go on vacation together, go to vets, eat healthy, exercise and they even have their personal space at home.

There are also blood related families who doesn't treat each other as family. It's as if they feel nauseated with even just thinking about them. They deny the fact that they are indeed a family. They can't forgive each other for their shortcomings and for their fault. It's like having a bad blood between them which can never be resolved if not done intentionally.

I think everyone will agree with me that we all just want to make our families proud and we all just want to give them a fruitful and bountiful life.

If we were given the chance we will all choose to become rich and to not worry about anything else. But the reality of life isn't like that. At the end of the day, we'll all have to work and bare the difficulties just to give what our families need.

Staying in a job which you aren't happy. Many people will tell you to be happy and contented knowing that you have a job because others don't. Many people might have told you that your job is much better than having none.

You will bare with that job even if your boss doesn't appreciate or compensate you enough. You will swallow the toxic environment and the toxic workmates for the sake of your family. You won't quit even if you kept on complaining. You will just cry in secret just so your family won't get worried about you.

Staying in a job which isn't your line of work. You will tell yourself that it's okay and you'll get through everything. They will encourage you by saying that it's just in the beginning and it's much better to try different fields as well.

But deep in your heart you know that it's not what you want to do. You know that you just bare with it because you have no choice.

Providing without being appreciated. People are never contented. They always want more. They are never happy for what they have and they always want to have what can't be theirs.

You will be appreciated as long as you can provide for them but when you can no longer provide for them you aren't as valuable as you were before.

Giving everything you have but still not enough. Most of the times, nothing's left for you. You can't even buy a pair of pants because you need to provide for your family's needs. You always think that it's okay as long as you see that your family is okay but you have also forgotten about yourself.

You gave everything for them that you have forgotten that at the end of the day, you will always be by yourself. You forgot that you also have needs and you so need to enjoy life.

We all have different ways on how we show love and how we want love to be shown to us, but it all boils down to one point that no matter what we do, we can never turn our backs against our families.

My parents are not getting any younger. My father is constantly sick while my mother starts showing signs of aging. I'm disappointed with myself because until now my mom has to work as a street sweeper even if I'm already a college graduate.

My youngest brother is about to enter college this coming school year. I need to provide for his needs. It's my responsibility since it's what has been agreed even before I entered college.

Our house is old. The floors are creaking. Our neighborhood is stressful. The environment is constantly noisy. The neighbors aren't the nicest to be with as well.

To be honest, I felt so frustrated and I'm constantly disappointed with myself. In my previous articles, I shared to you about my status in which I wanted to help my family but I was unemployed since April 2020 up until January 2021. It was 10 months since then, and now that I have my new job, I felt as though I wouldn't last in this job.

I didn't told my family or anyone about it but if you're reading this, then now you know. It was too difficult for me to adjust. It has been two weeks since then but I'm constantly worried about everything.

1. How do I go to the office if we're already asked to report there?

2. How do I ride the elevator?

3. I'm afraid to mess up or to even make mistakes.

4. My schedule constantly changes.

5. I don't want to disappoint my family by being unemployed again.

Those were just the ramdom thoughts I've been having. I told my brother that I'm afraid to mess up but then he said that it's part of life. I know that but I can't feel at ease about this new job.

My mind's a mess. I'm anxious. I actually applied in public school this year. I failed last year so I thought about applying again this year. I was able to submit my requirements last Monday. Good thing that I am on a work from home set up and my schedule is from 9:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. I went to school and after submitting it I was late for 10 minutes but the good thing is that there was no roll call of attendance not until I get online.

I was so happy because my schedule next week must be 6:00 p.m. to 3:00 a.m. but it was changed again from 2:00 a.m. to 12:00 noon. I was about to have my demo teaching next week which is why I'm worried again.

I really wanted to pass the ranking this year and have the school where I'm going to teach at, so I can resign and go back to teaching.

I can't resign in this job not unless I have a new one. I need to bare my anxiety and keep working because it's not as if I have a choice to choose from. It was my self commitment not to resign not unless I am already hired in public school. I can't be unemployed once again. I know how exhausting and how painful it is to see my family struggle financially.

Please don't get me wrong. My family never obligated me to support them financially but it is my self commitment since I'm already a college graduate and it has always been my desire to provide for them.

I also have goals and dreams for my family which I can never achieve if I'm unemployed.

1. I want to move my family to a stress free neighborhood. It's what my parents need, especially my dad. His health is deteriorating. His feet are swollen again. It was his symptoms before he was admitted at the hospital for two weeks.

2. I want my mom to stop working and enjoy life. I want to give her an allowance for herself. She has been working for the family since I was little and I wanted her to travel and not think about our financial needs. She has been telling me about it but I know that it's still not possible for now.

3. I want to save money for a new home. A home where we can have privacy. You see our home is 17 years old. There are two rooms but those rooms aren't rooms at all. There's no privacy for each of us.

4. I want to save up money for myself. One thing that 2020 has taught me is the importance of having savings. For now, I want to choose myself. I know that I'm just 23, I'm still too young but in my previous job, I realized that I haven't provided anything for myself.

5. I want to be a channel of blessing to the people around me. I want them to be blessed with something that I can offer them. I want them to be happy and experience the life that they deserve. I want to spoil them with love and not thinking about finances.

I'm in this job because I have no choice. Besides it's a work from home set up so it's not that difficult for me.

I missed writing in read cash which is really obvious because I've written this article. I also missed interacting with you all. Thank you so much for waiting for me to write again.

Ps. I'll try to write whenever I have free time. I missed you everyone 💕

Love_16

February 5, 2021

Friday