Knowing myself better

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3 years ago

The more I get to explore different things which includes different jobs, the more I get to see who I am. The more I know who I am and the things that I can and can't do. I am also seeing my distinct character traits as well as how I am able to pull of the things that needs to be done.

I've been to 3 different jobs and here are the things I noticed about myself.

  1. I complain a lot in the beginning.

Whatever job I've had, I always complain in the beginning since I have a lot of things which I wanted to be put in order but sadly, I don't have the control over it. There are also times when I will cry out of frustration but no one will know about it. I always wanted to be in control that's why I get easily frustrated when things don't go my way.

  1. I tell people about it then I'll regret it later.

I like sharing my negative views or feedback to others, which I always regret in the end. The reason why I do that is simply because I wanted to ease the burden I'm carrying but this is also an attitude of mine which always gets me in trouble because I don't choose to whom will I share it with. I know that I'm a teacher but I'm also a human with feelings and emotions. I also get tired, angry, upset and I also need to share it to someone else.

  1. After just a few tries, I get the hang of it and start doing better in what I do.

If there are bad times at work, there are also good times. I don't need to get close to my workmates, I just needed to perform better. Not to impress them but to improve myself. I get tired, but once I enjoy what I do, I perform better. Honestly, I was offered a promotion which means a high salary from my 2nd job but I chose to go back to my profession which I'm starting to regret. As what my readers always say I'm just starting so I just needed to give it a shot and it's what I'm doing now.

  1. I always have another plan, just in case I can't keep up with the demand anymore.

As of now, I'm starting to think of what's next after this. My profession is for good. It is for long term and my brother actually told me that I haven't even enjoyed my salary, vacations and what not with my 2nd job and yet I decided to resign right away. I wanted to be the boss and not just an employee. I want to have different sources of income, own house and lot, savings, enjoy travelling local and international and so much more but it's not possible at the moment. Going abroad is also an option if given the chance, I will definitely go and grab the opportunity. I can't provide those things if I just stay here.

  1. In the beginning, I always think about my job.

I can't seem to have a real rest because when I close my eyes it's as though I can see and hear the things that needs to be done. My mind is never at rest. I always needed to remove those thoughts from my mind but it's a hard work for me. It's not an easy thing to do. This is what actually exhausts me more.

  1. I'm always excited to save but was never able to do it.

When I don't have the salary yet, I feel so excited to hold it and use it. I even have a check list of what to buy, what to pay for, the allowance for my brother etc. But when I already have the money, everything is completely forgotten like the checklist I created never actually existed. I can't stick to plan especially if I wanted to spoil my family with what I have.

There are.morentungs that I wanted to share but I'm really tired and sleepy. I can't focus when I'm feeling drowsy. Maybe I'll just write a part 2 for the continuation of this article. Keep safe until then. Good night!

Love_16

November 10, 2021

Wednesday

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Comments

You are surely tired and sleepy na, Ate Love. I think that the "morentungs" word in your closing remark is supposed to be "more things", right? HAHAHA. Have time to rest and don't exhaust yourself too much. Health is more important. 😊

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