Blessing in disguise

I don't know why I've been feeling emotional lately. It's not as if I have something to cry or get sad about but I've been too sensitive. I don't speak that much about how I feel or what I think about. I just wanna write about it in order to release what I feel inside.

I have finished my menstruation and it was a painful one but I'm glad because I didn't need to drink Advil for the pain. It was still uncomfortable but I'm blessed to have a regular menstruation.

I have been going through a physical battle since the start of the month of February. I've been constantly visiting a hospital and I've been with too many different specialists for my physical well-being. I can't tell you much since I'm still on the process of healing but it's nothing serious. Getting sick is pricy and I needed to buy the prescribed medicine from time to time. I also need to have a follow-up check and now I needed more money in order to have my right jaw braced. I'll tell you about it in my next articles. What I'm so grateful for is the fact that no matter how many diseases I get, it's nothing serious. I don't need to stay at the hospital and I can still work and perform my daily duties. The other thing is the fact that my current company is the one who shoulders my hospital bills except for my right jaw brace and the medicines I need. I can't imagine how much I have spent now if ever I am not at my current job.

I have also filed a sick leave and it was paid. I have nothing to worry about since I'm on a work from home set up. I just needed a stable internet connection. I don't need to take time to prepare for work and I don't need to risk myself from travelling back and forth from work.

I am also grateful for the fact that I have a job especially now that we're on a pandemic. I'm blessed to receive my salary earlier than the supposed date and I can now help my family. I also started giving an allowance to my mother since I wasn't able to do so. Even though I have no experience in this field I was hired and the people on my team are all accommodating and kind. They are great motivators who always remind me that it's okay to commit mistakes and I can definitely do it. I'm still on training and yet I already feel safe and comfortable with them.

If I haven't entered this industry then I wouldn't know that I am sick and in need of proper medication. I admit, I am not happy with what I do but I'll forever be grateful for the chance and opportunity to work and help my family.

I am forever grateful for all the blessings I have received and even if this isn't what I have imagined my life to be at the moment, I am at the right place just at the right time.

Earlier, one of our boss messaged this to our group chat.

"Let's start March with a bang guys! Great work to everyone for helping meet our goals!

Take care of yourselves guys so you won't get sick. Don't fret and get stressed too much. Take time to appreciate yourselves and the people around you.

It's difficult to be unemployed this season, take time to realize and appreciate what we have so you wont feel like dragging yourselves to work.

I have referred 3 resources lately around November. None of them are still hired yet. You may feel this company has still a lot to offer, but you need to realize that other companies are also having the same.

Let's stay positive!"

What she said struck me and it's what made me realize how blessed I am to be in my current position. This job might have been difficult for me but I'm just starting and no one is pressuring me to do more than I can.

My family always supports whatever decision I make and they are always there to help me. I am never alone and even if there are times when I wanted to just leave everything behind, there are people who reminds me that I am forever loved, important and needed.

Sometimes, God will allow me to move out of my comfort zone so I'll be able to know that I can do more and that my potential is never limited. The possibilities of reaching my full potential cannot be determined in my comfort zone, it is determined when I am out of it.

Sometimes, I feel that God just wants to see me surrender and I did. If I get too stressed out about the things I have no control of, then I'll get sicker. But if I leave it all in the hands of God, then everything's gonna be alright. He is never late nor too early. God is always on time.

Sometimes, I need to know the feeling of having nothing so I won't take the things I have for granted. I experienced being unemployed for 10 months it was too stressful and if I were to choose between being stressed out because I'm unemployed over being stressed out because I'm employed, I'll always choose the latter. This is actually the first time I felt, loved, valued, and appreciated because I never felt it in my previous job. Fun fact about me is the fact that I don't know how to use an ATM card. My previous job was traditional unlike this new job of mine.

Sometimes, having nothing is the best way to teach me how important it is to be generous to other people. I bought groceries without thinking that I'll have no enough money for it. Now, I bought my siblings something from an online shop. It's not much but it counts. This is the first time I am able to do it. My parents celebrated their 37th wedding anniversary last Sunday and it's the first time that I have given that much money for them. I want to honor and bless them with whatever I can give them because they deserve it. I can never be where I am without them.

Sometimes, painful cries are what reminds me how important it is to feel happy and enjoy every season of life.

If you're having a hard time and you're reading, it's possible that no positive word can pierce through your aching heart but I want you to know and realize that you will never know what happiness is without sadness. Most importantly, you will never know how to be grateful if you keep on looking at what you're lacking instead of looking at what you're having. You will never know what tomorrow will bring but please be rest assured that no matter what happens, God is with you and there are people who are rooting for you without asking and expecting anything in return.

Love_16

March 3, 2021

Tuesday