John grew up in a household where he observed and often hear how his parents fight. They are also not the best parents as they would often beat him up even for his simple mistakes. This continued for quite a long time and as a result he held a grudge against his parents and when he is not at home he will show his true self to others. Once when he was in school, his classmate Barry borrowed his book without his permission. When John found out about it, he burst in anger and beat his classmates as well. Moreover, there are many incidences when John wasn't able to control his anger and would always end up getting into fights with his peers. He even slammed his table after his teacher left because he felt embarrassed when the teacher told him that his answer is wrong.
As time goes by, things got worse. But there was a time in his life when he decided to change. He attended counselling and seek for a professional advice, so he could control his anger. He was able to change for quite some time.
Now John is already married and the things he observed when he was young, though he hates it before, that's what he also does now. It all started when Samantha, his wife came home 15 minutes later than the usual time she comes home from work. When she tried to explain, John slammed the table so hard and when Samantha tried to explain, he yelled and nearly hurt her. The next day, John apologized, but the same incidences was repeated over and over again, and it continued for quite some time. There are instances when John would just pound the dinner table even in front of their daughter, he would drive so fast and wild and would get mad at other drivers and one time he even yelled at his boss, so he ended up getting fired from his work.
Unfortunately, this scenario realistically happens to other people too. Some people find it really hard to control their anger.
Well, is it wrong to be angry? Not at all. It is just normal to feel aggravated when someone does something offending against us. We are all imperfect humans, so it is just normal to lose our temper and get angry. Even the meekest person can get angry when aggravated, and it's okay as long as such anger is being controlled. Even the perfect man Jesus became angry when he was still on earth. He got angry when he saw that the house of his father, the temple, are used by businessmen as a place to do business. So it is okay to feel mad at times.
Uncontrolled anger is what makes anger unjustified. When anger is uncontrolled it results to negative consequences. Misunderstandings between friends, divorce, broken families, losing one's job and worst, committing a crime are usually the consequences of uncontrolled anger.
When anger is uncontrolled, a simple yelling or shouting will lead to shoving someone. A simple pointing of finger towards someone will lead to poking which results to bruises and later on, it will lead to worst case scenario, it can be slapping, punching, kicking, pulling of hair and other worse physical way of hurting someone.
Yes, anger is a normal emotion people feel, but uncontrolled anger doesn't yield good result, so it is vital to always control our anger.
How To Control Anger
Some people who previously have anger management issues are able to control their anger. What can help us to control this negative emotion?
Before you react, think. Most of the time, our impulse is to react as soon as someone aggravated us or does something irritating. And when we react while we are still angry, we often say the most nasty words or even hurt someone physically. So when someone made you mad, don't react first, try to count 1-20 and think of reasons why you should just let it pass. Maybe it's not something serious to waste your energy in becoming angry.
Relax. Calm down and relax. When you are calmed, you are more likely to control your anger and not react violently. Apply relaxation methods such as breathing in and out and taking deep breaths. Engaging in activities you love doing can also help you relax, try to read more, listen to music, write, do walking and biking or gardening.
Manage your expectations. When you have too high expectations, you are more likely to feel disappointed, and it can trigger the anger within you. Before, I used to really get mad and disappointed whenever I have a schedule with a few close friends because they always came late. So I've set my mind that they will never be early, I'm the usual early bird, so I try to make ways for me not to get bored while waiting for them. I usually brought a book with me when I have appointments so when the person is coming late, I have a book I can read while waiting.
Like mentioned previously, we are all imperfect, so we have the tendency to be angry. But it depends on us how we express this negative emotion. Are we going to wrathful and suffer the consequences of uncontrolled anger or are we going to control our anger and express our emotion in a more positive way? It is our choice.
Well written❤️❤️