Not Always Being Available

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Written by
2 years ago

What I hate about myself before is that I don't know how to say "No". I'm always available to help, to give, to listen, to understand and so on. If you're a very kind person, you would say that this is a good trait, but if you became wise you'd understand how important to choose whom it is only better to give effort.


Story time...

I have this childhood friend from my grandparent's province. I am more older than her but we became close as she always stay with us everytime we visit in their place. She is a college right now, and during those times that they are having modular class, she always ask my help to answer her module. There's nothing wrong with it and I don't have problem about it, but as the days passes by, she frequently send through messenger the shots of her module and just wait for me to answer it. She never heard any complain and I answer it immediately as soon as she send the photos or questions. I answer all her modules in Mathematics, English, Filipino, Science, Values Education and all. One day, she ask another help and sent me the question. The direction is to share her personality through answering questions. "Sis, just answer it like you are me", she asked. Like, what! Since I'm already full of what she is doing, I started to speak up and replied her frankly that all those questions should be answer by her, personally, and that requires common sense. Maybe she get angry on my reply that she only seen it. After weeks, she chat again like nothing happened, and asked if I can help her again as she can't understand the questions. After she send the questions, I explain it but still she can't comprehend, so what I did is to answer it all again. After a month, she posted her report card and proudly showcase her 90 grade as the lowest and 99 as the highest, with the caption of "study hard". Wow. Lol

As of now she is still chatting, and her last message was on the other day saying "Sis, can I still ask for help?". Now that I know how to reject, I decided not to seen her message and ignore it. That is also my younger brother's advice.


One thing I have learned in life is that not everyone deserves to be treated with kindness. Like, you must set boundaries, and to at least respect yourself and not to tolerate other people. The world is full of toxic people, and I don't need them in my life.

Unsplash by Markus Spiske

Why I share this one is to remind everyone, that maybe at the moment, you're this person whom they're taking for granted. Open your eyes, and be conscious about helping, because sometimes we are blind with our kindness that other people take advantage and benefits without even saying thank you. You may have a lot of friends, but not all friends are real, you yourself can feel it. That is a reality that we must be aware of.

This might be about negativity, but the point is the realization that we must acquire. This is also one of the reason why we need to choose the people that surrounds us. It is okay to be friendly, and it is better to help others, but we must think wisely. It is okay if we are not available for the others especially when we are fixing and building ourselves first.


A pleasant Sunday to everyone, we are going to face another week for this month; time flies so fast. I wish you good health and happiness in life. Aja!

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My appreciation to all my subscribers, upvoters, commenters and sponsor. GOD Bless! 

October 9, 2022

-Ling01

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Written by
2 years ago

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We exactly have the same experience. I have this pal as well who always ask help for her module to the point that she wanted me to do her research paper. Like making it is time consuming plus I have my school works too. Just as you, my siblings adviced me to ignore her as she's been asking for help to them all the time. It's just that my conscience won't leave me and I wasn't comfortable leaving her in trouble. But I also realized, it will help her stand on her own knees and help herself.

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2 years ago

Ayy bigla akong nahiya sa 90 lowest grade nya sis at sa study hard, luuuhh feeling.😂 Sorry nairita ako, may papost post pang nalalaman di naman siya yung nagsasagot sa modules nya.

Anyway I am glad that you finally learned how to say no sis, and maganda yung hindi mo na e seen chat nya. Tingnan natin kung maka 90 lowest pa siya 😂. Ang bad ko noh?😂

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2 years ago

Exactly there will be limitations and boundaries for everything. In relationships, it is one thing I recommend. We can't cross the read line. We should be kind but kindnesses will not be our weakness.

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2 years ago

Kindness taken for granted should be withdrawn immediately. Kindness goes hand in hand with gratefulness, sometimes even to our loved ones, a moment of unavailability makes them realize just how important you are. Setting boundaries is key.

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2 years ago

I was just commenting this earlier. We have to choose when to be available. Other will just abuse you if you are that available.

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2 years ago

It really is important to set boundaries! I have my own share of disaapointments also! And it is also important to know that people does not have the same thoughts and same level of kindness. Some are also narcisist! And others are like entitled brat. Haha learned it the hard way. 🤣

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2 years ago

A lot of people out there have taken advantage of my kindness to them. I always love to treat people with respect but some people just want to come into your life to take advantage of you. It's sad! I drifted slowly from people like that

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2 years ago

Hindi rin talaga maganda yung palaging mag say yes or di marunong mag say ng no sis kasi yung iba aabusuhin ka nila.

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2 years ago

I have rejected and removed so many people like this after pandemic and I am in great mental peace now with lots of free time also, you took the wise decision.

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2 years ago

I want to be in this "great mental peace" huhu

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2 years ago

You are just like me I also have some so-called friends who remember me whenever they need something and once I help them they start ignoring me like I don't even exist. I tried a lot but can't stop myself from saying I am available

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2 years ago

And that we must avoid this type of people

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2 years ago