It was my personal choice, do I have regrets?

I’ve been so inactive this past few days because of some personal reason specifically in school.

Disclaimer: This is only a blog and most of the things written on this is only a personal story. You are free to ignore this!

The first week of the class ended and it was a long ride although we are only starting and I know that this is only a “teaser” of being a college student. It was tough, seriously. But I need to do it for my future plans, family and for myself as well.

Engineering is unexpected course that I will take, I did not imagine myself taking Engineering because I was afraid back then since most of the people are saying that “Engineering is hard and difficult, only few people can survive.”

I told myself, “I am not going to take it” for your information, when I am still a kid and going to school as a pre-school student I used to say “When I grow up, I want to be a pilot” but you know, it was my childhood dream, I didn't think of it carefully.

While studying in school and “growing up” as an individual, I realized that time is ticking and I need to think the course that I want to pursue.

When I am in Elementary school, my teachers used to choose me as a representative that will join in a Science contest where there are many school that will compete and I am one of them. Hence, I marked to my mind that “Science is my favorite subject”

I hate Mathematics, I do not like it. I hate numbers, it is giving me a headache. I am not good in interepreting and understanding concept, some of my friends are calling me “slow” but it is true.

Thus, I told myself that I hate Mathematics and I will never take Engineering.

But suddenly, things are changing. One day, I woke up liking numbers. I am always excited to take the Math class and solve problems...but I am still not good in Math but gradually, I like it.

The habit continues, until one of the terror teacher in my Senior High school came. He is known for being terror BUT best teacher when it comes to Mathematics. He became our teacher.

The rumors are a lie! He is a friendly teacher, but be serious when the class is starting. He is a serious teacher but in the middle of the class, he will put some humor to enlighten the mood. You should always look at him or on the board unless you want him to mention your name and recite the topic.

He used to praise us when it comes recitation and it gives motivation to learn more about Math, I studied. Probably because of the indirect pressure. Although he's not saying or putting a pressure to me, I feel like he has a big expectation to me when it comes to Mathematics as a student because he keeps saying like “that is why I put you in that position because I know that you can handle it” (not his exact words but sounds like this) it sounds like a pressure.

Moving on, during my senior high school year something came in to my mind and that is “I want to take Engineering” I joined in Facebook group, Facebook pages that is related in Engineering. Read a lot about the background, motivational statement from Engineer.

They motivate me indirectly by their words. I am a type of student who prioritize my education and studies but I am not a grade conscious. As long as I did my best, it is fine.

Other engineering student or passers said “it is not difficult as a long as you know how to manage your time and prioritize the things that you need as a student, you will be fine. You hate math? You hate drawing? It's not a problem!” they said that being smart is not a requirement, we do not born smart. Most of us are just studying harder than you.

Everything is taking the process so you are. In short, being smart to take Engineering is not necessary because you will also learn as long as you are interested, but of course, smart people has advantage.

In the end, I chose to take Engineering. Hopefully, I can pass this one. The first week is tough but I know that this is only the beginning. There are more things that you need to pass.

There is no parental pressure nor influence from my friends, it was my personal choice and I can say that I do NOT have any regrets in taking this.

As of today, I am enjoying what I am doing despite of having a hard time in managing my time and lesson.

Good thing is there are also Engineering students and passers here especially Meyzee who always help me about Engineering. She is always giving me a background and answering the questions that I am asking.

I will do my best and everything that I can to finish this course with an enthusiasm. I am hoping that in the next five years, I will be successful academically and my education help me to achieve my goal in the near future.

Trust the process, as what Rancho said on the movie entitled 3 idiots, “All is well.”

Published: August 15, 2021