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How To Get Over Betrayal & Stop Holding Grudges

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Written by   299
3 months ago
Topics: Betrayal, Grudge

Why do we hold grudges? Maybe for the sake of our pride or maybe we were duped and need to make up for what was done in the past. Or maybe we harbor a misplaced sense of entitlement or vengeance and get caught up in the importance of having that hurt feeling acknowledged by someone else. Whatever your reasons, you've probably thought about holding onto a grudge in your life at one point or another.

Betrayal is one of the most hurtful things that can happen to you. When someone who you trusted betrays your trust, it's incredibly painful. And many people hold onto their pain and anger for years, even decades, and even when it's clear that the person who hurt them is no longer around or even alive.

When you find out your friend betrayed you, it's easy to hold on to a grudge. It's hard to let go of the hurt and anger that betrayal can cause. But you have to keep in mind that this isn't going to make things better. Holding onto a grudge can actually make things worse especially if you're doing it while holding on to that person. But how can you then snap out of this negative cycle, get over it and move on?

  • First, don't let yourself think about it too much. It's easy to focus on all the ways your friend betrayed you and how much they hurt you but that's not going to help! Instead, try focusing on what you did wrong and how to avoid doing it again in the future. This will help clear your mind and give you space so that when you start thinking about how much damage was done and how much time went into healing from that hurt, your perspective will shift from victim mentality to survivor mentality.

  • second, make a list of all the things that made your friend betray you (both good and bad). Think about whether there are things that you could have done differently or better. This can be helpful because it helps put things into perspective for both of you, as well as helps remind yourself that there were reasons for what happened that are not always obvious at first glance (which might make sense now if you think about them)

  • third, talk to someone who understands what you’re going through (like a family member or a close friend). It’s always better to talk things out than bottle up your anger and resentment because when you hold on to those feelings, they grow into something else and usually worse than what they were in the first place. Talking things out with someone you trust will give you an outside perspective on how the issue might affect your life moving forward so that you can make decisions based on fact instead of fear.

  • fourth, take care of yourself; try eating healthy food and drinking plenty of water each day, spend time with loved ones who make you feel good about yourself (whether those people are friends or family members), etc. These little things will make a huge difference in how well your body function.

  • fifth, don’t seek revenge or vengeance, those things aren’t good for your health or happiness. Instead, focus on how to move forward as best as possible in spite of what happened in the past.

Getting over betrayal doesn't mean that you have to stop trusting people, it just means that you need to learn how to manage your trust better moving forward. Being betrayed isn't the end of the world, You will recover and find yourself again and when you do, you will be stronger than ever and ready to move on with your life and live it to its fullest potential.

Thanks for reading 💖💖💖

Sunday July 28, 2022

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Written by   299
3 months ago
Topics: Betrayal, Grudge
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Comments

Exactly what I did! But one thing is for sure, I forgive but I can't forget.

$ 0.01
3 months ago

That's why I have a problem with the quote; "forgive and forget". If I forget, how will I prevent it from happening again? 😆 I rather keep it in one part of my mind as a reminder of what happened

$ 0.00
3 months ago

If Jesus could be betrayed, then who are you? 🤣.

Betrayals are painful especially because they are done by people whom you love and you're close to.

One of the biggest illusion is thinking "revenge is sweet". It is only sweet in sport and fair play games 😂

$ 0.01
3 months ago

This is why I don't fully trust people and I always ecpect the worse to happen so that when it eventually happens, then it won't be too painful for me coz I saw it coming. Revenge is a total waste of time, I used to do that a lot in the past but now I know better

$ 0.00
3 months ago

I was the type of person who would seek vengeance when I was younger. If needed I would even backfight , hehe. Though now, I seldom give a time about those. Just f!ck them, I do believe karma is digital

$ 0.01
3 months ago

I do believe karma is digital

🤣 This is new. And I can totally relate to what you've said, I used to fight back and seek revenge when I was younger but as time goes on, I realize it is actually a waste of time and energy

$ 0.01
3 months ago

Its somehow an expression😆.

$ 0.00
3 months ago

There are betrayals that hit differently and you won't see all these functioning as remedy lol🤣.

But truth remains, there's no good in vengeance, it only prolonged the issue, if not physical then, it dwells forever in the mind

$ 0.01
3 months ago

Lol, the things I wrote about aren't really remedies, they are just advise that a person need to think about when they get betrayed. Wahala for who no eat well or dey overthink because of betrayal

$ 0.00
3 months ago

What you sis is true. When ever I feel letdown by someone. I always assume it's all my fault even though it isn't . Even though it means blaming myself for ever letting them into my life in the first place. The more I take responsibility the more I feel less angry and the easier I'd learn the lesson, move on and protect myself from similar future occurrences

$ 0.01
3 months ago

That's basically the summary of it. Whenever we think through any betrayal that comes our way, it helps us to put into perspective how we should have handled things and how to do better next time

$ 0.00
3 months ago

I relate this kushyzee. I have a friend of mine. I trusted her because we are close when we were in highschool and until the day came, I knew the truth she betrayed me. I was really hurt. I didn't know what happened to her. Why she did that. I cried that time.

$ 0.01
3 months ago

So sorry to hear that Ramona. Betrayals can be very painful especially when it's from a close friend but you just have to move on from it. I hope you're no longer holding that pain of the betrayal

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3 months ago

I'm totally move on already kushyzee. Thank you. Yes kushyzee it was really painful days.

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3 months ago

Learn to forgive the people who hurt you.It doesn't mean that we can forget easily because its not that easy at all.but it is a good start to move on without hate in our hearts we live once and therefore don't live with burden.

$ 0.01
3 months ago

Exactly ma'am, forgiveness is very important and even if the person doesn't deserve it, we should do it for ourselves so that we can continue to live without carrying bitterness in our heart

$ 0.00
3 months ago

I never hold grudge against my friends and they never betrayed me...but I might take these into account for future use hehe...

$ 0.01
3 months ago

😆 you said it like you are expecting a betrayal. I have also never been betrayed and that's mostly because I don't trust people completely

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3 months ago