First Friday of 2022- going clubbing

7th of January 2021

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It’s the first Friday and the first weekend in the year 2022 and I must say that I’m glad to be alive. Right now, I feel like having some fun, I feel like taking a walk out there in the cold breeze of the night, I feel like driving on the highway all night while sipping juice on my biscuit. I just wanna do something different unfortunately I can’t. I haven’t got any friend with whom I can have some fun, I basically do all things alone hence it’s been a life of boredom. My life isn’t exactly boring but according to peeps out there not having a girlfriend is equivalent to living a boring life hence I have decided to play along in calling myself “boring”. Let’s get back to my feelings- I feel like going clubbing- I’ve never been to the club before but I simply wanna try it out to see life from another perspective perhaps I’d have some fun in the process, after all, all work and no play…. you know the rest. Surprisingly, I do not appreciate lying to myself which is why I’d always change my mind as soon as the feeling to go clubbing arises- as much as I want to go clubbing, a part of me will always tell me “No” because my going there would be pointless, I’d simply be sitting and observing without making any attempt to be a part of the fun. In the end, the hashtag given to me by friends “minister for pride” is somewhat true up to an atomic scale. I haven’t got pride but there are certain things I sincerely do not see myself doing- for instance dancing in a club, drinking or getting drunk. In fact, I don’t see myself ever giving attention to some random lady in the club unlike other guys who go there with the intention of “catching a new fish” or perhaps having a “one night stand”. Don’t we all enjoy a one-night stand especially since you’d never get to meet each other ever again except she becomes pregnant in the process and 20 years later your son or daughter begins to search for you- hashtag “I want to meet my father”- story for another day.

Speaking of getting drunk, alcohol isn’t my thing as I intend to live a long life hence, I take only water irrespective of the event or location. Unfortunately requesting for water at a club would seem weird, in fact I do not think they’d take this request serious because no logical person will come to the club with the intention of drinking water unless you intend to wash your hand with it. This could be an excuse- my words would be “hey, I need a bottle of water to wash my hands” while flaunting some cash in a bid to make it look like I intend to show off like everyone else does at a club, after which I’d secretly gulp it down my throat while washing my hands with the rest since I do not tell lies. In fact, I’m the most sincere person you’d ever meet in your lifetime. Surprisingly my Microsoft word dictionary keeps highlighting the word “most sincere” and keeps telling me that there is no such word. It says that the actual word should be “sincerest”, which I find really weird as I’ve never heard of any such word in my entire life- I’ve lived much longer than you can Imagine, in fact I’d like to consider myself immortal. I’d better get back to track before the god of distraction takes over.

I wanna go clubbing but a greater part of me says “No”, I guess today is not the day, I’d rather wait till the whole of me says “yes” to clubbing as I wouldn’t like to force myself or regret would be my new best friend. At the time of writing, I’m craving pepper-soup and catfish, meat-pie and ice-cream, fried rice and chicken, plus a little bit of salad- I think I’m pregnant, only pregnant women crave everything. I guess I’ve been talking to too many ladies lately hence my pregnancy, now the greater question would be “who’s responsible?”  hahaha…

For those of you who enjoy clubbing I’m saying happy clubbing since it’s a Friday, and for those of us (I'm on this list) that are gonna be home alone- no one-night stand, no “catching of new fishes”, and no “make-outs”.…I’m saying… “sleep tight and don’t let the bed bugs bite, happy boredom in advance and home sweet home….”. hahaha.