Domestic violence

It's no surprise that the issue of domestic violence is still rampant in our society today. My attention was once again drawn to the issue when I went online on twitter and read a tweet about a guy that abused his girlfriend. It's a sad world we live in.

Before we even talk about domestic violence, what is violence in itself?

Violence an act of physical force that causes or is intended to cause harm. The damage inflicted by violence may be physical, psychological, or both. Violence may be distinguished from aggression, a more general type of hostile behaviour that may be physical, verbal, or passive in nature.

When it comes to domestic violence, it's really self explanatory. This violence is committed by someone of a close circle. It could be a family member, a partner, an ex- partner. The bottom line is that for domestic violence to occur, there's usually some sort of close relationship between the abuser and the victim. In such cases, the victim might be dependent on the abuser or the abuser is considered to hold a higher level of power when compared to the victim.

Who are the victims of domestic violence?

The truth is that anyone can be a victim, absolutely anyone. The young, the old, men, women, children of all walks of life. It's not restricted to religion, ethnicity, race, you name it. Anyone can be affected. Women and children are considered to suffer domestic violence the most but for today, my concern will be on domestic violence concerning women.

Types of domestic violence

Domestic violence can be categorized into three main types; physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse. Others include financial abuse and psychological abuse.

• Physical abuse

I believe this is the most common form of abuse. It involves the use of physical force to cause harm or injury to the victim. It includes choking, punching, slapping, kicking, stabbing, scalding or burning, pulling of hair and many more. Generally, it's anything that can cause physical harm to the victim.

• Emotional abuse

This form of abuse makes people wonder about their self worth. It could be verbal where they're constantly insulted, body shamed, criticized, even their opinions are taken for granted. They begin to feel they're useless and have nothing positive to contribute. Sometimes, emotional abuse is combined with other types of abuse like physical, sexual, psychological or financial and it's effects can be detrimental to one's health. Such relationships are very unhealthy as it doesn't do you any good.

• Sexual abuse

It involves sexual behaviour forced upon a person. It's mostly used when the abuser thinks the victim is weaker than he is. Not only that, it could also be if someone is forced into using contraceptives or getting an abortion, harassment in form of touching that is not welcomed.

• Financial abuse

This can be a situation where the victim is prevented from getting an education, not allowed to have a job of their own rendering them totally dependent on the abuser. It's a way of controlling so that every action they take, the abuser will be aware.

• Psychological abuse

When considering this form of abuse, it could range from preventing the victim from contacting or keeping touch with friends and family, threatening the victim, not allowing them to go out or have relations with other people.

What causes this abuse?

This question comes up. What drives this people to do what they do? How do they feel comfortable living the way they do? I'll say that they want to feel superior and exercise power. They want to feel like they're in charge, it's their way of exercising authority. It could be because they have low self esteem, anger issues, extreme jealousy and obsession or thru probably feel they're inferior to their partner.

• In some places due to traditional beliefs, it can happen that they feel they need to subdue and control their partners to prove their masculinity.

• They grew up in harsh and violent circumstances or a family where they witnessed domestic abuse and feel it's right or a normal thing to do.

• In the view of the victim, excessive dependent on the abuser can result in violence.

• Substance abuse such as getting drunk on alcohol can cause these abusers to act out on their victims.

• Some people have undiagnosed personal or psychological disorders that need to be addressed.

They're other reasons why abuse occur, but this doesn't negate the fact that domestic violence is wrong and shouldn't be tolerated. These reasons only point out why abusers feel it's acceptable to act the way they do.

Why do women stay in abusive relationships?

• It could be they're totally dependent on the abuser and have no funds of their own. They feel they can't start a life of their own outside what they know.

• For cases where they're married and kids are involved, some stay because they feel it'll be better for the kids to have both parents together.

• The society also influences their actions, they feel they'll be condemned by society for being divorced.

• Some are afraid of what the abuser would do to them if they try to leave.

• Others believe the abuser will change with time, and hold on to the false hope that they can be the saviour and make them change from their ways.

• For those that grew up in abusive environment, they might think domestic violence is acceptable.

• Some are unaware of the help that will come for them. They feel isolated and alone.

• They still love their partner or abuser. There are many more other reasons. Feel free to add yours.

What are the effects of domestic violence on victims?

• They can suffer from low self esteem, have trust issues, anger or fear in the case of emotional abuse.

• They can suffer from isolation and withdrawal.

• In the case of sexual abuse, it can lead to contacting STDs or other sexual issues.

• It can lead to long term mental problems

• Physics injuries can be incurred in the process.

In conclusion, even if awareness has been created to the public concerning the issue, we shouldn't stop creating the awareness. They're people out there who suffer silently because they feel their voices will not be heard of ignored. The world can do better.