I'm okay, but I wasn't.

Hello dearest readers,

I hope everyone was okay and at their best upon reaching this article of mine. Yeah, that is my sincerest wish, in addition to that, I hope that whatever situation you are facing right now or whatever circumstances are, you may tackle and turn it in any way on your behalf. All the best to everyone!

I was saddened that I didn't finish publishing the ending of my recent article for some personal reasons. Lately, I feel like I am very good and healthy but that was just a front to cover my failing health due to colds and fever. I was already one week absent from my work by tomorrow, I stop going to work when my cough worsens until to the point that I can't get a good sleep at night. This makes me feel so tired when morning came. I take a lot of medicine to combat my illness, some give good effects but some seem no effect at all. It's a good thing that my friendly neighbor told me the other day about how she cured her cough by gargling a bit of warm water with salt in it. She did gargle three times a day through her throat to relieve the feeling of itch, she told me also to drink plenty of warm water every day.

I was doing the gargling too but not frequent and my water intake wasn't enough for the day, that may be the cause why the method was not effective to me on my first try. But when I manage to drink more warm water since the other day I feel better and the coughing was not as frequent as before. Hopefully for better results in the coming days.

I was okay! That is what I always put to my thought every time that I felt bad mentally and physically.

I insisted to hubby to drop me at my work today but just like yesterday he ignores me and scolded me to take a rest more. My work can wait as long as I gain the strength to do the job. Though I always say that I am already okay but hubby is never convinced since I'm still coughing at night.

Sometimes, there were moments when we thought that we are strong enough to face each of these life struggles. But deep inside we are fragile, weakens by some circumstances. Our mental state was strong, but the body can't get along.

Did you experience sometimes that you are courageous enough to face anything but when the problem arises and trouble is at hand, you seemed to lose every inch of courage within your veins?

I was contemplating all my decisions in life since I choose to be with my partner. I thought I am ready to face all things since I was old enough to settle down. I was okay when I finally decided to start my own family with him and no one to blame in case I failed but for me alone.

I was okay for the first few months. Though we fight sometimes, everything went well after we reconcile. Until the bad days came. Ugh! I didn't expect that moment, I thought I was prepared for it but I wasn't. I watched a lot about husband and wife struggles both in reality and in movies, I thought I learned enough but not. Real-life struggles were more spiral and crucial when you're in the middle of dealing with them.

There is a big difference between dealing with a problem in reality than just talking about it. You can see and feel the real effect. The impact of it was not just a play that you can manage to escape when getting tired of it. The reality slaps me with all of this.

I am mentally okay but I wasn't at all. I'm not insane dear don't worry. My state of mind was perfectly stable. I feel lonely and sad, angry and sentimental at some points. Laugh out loud at a happy moment. Shed tears in some emotional instances. I am normal dearest, I just pour out these things that blocked the flow in my head. I needed it to console my drowning soul with this realization.

Again, I am okay. I can manage to do the things that I suppose to do. I can smile though I am supposed to cry. I stand down on my ground if I need to, I can be silent to avoid a fight. Because I know being okay was all I can do no matter how life turns me down because I need to survive and go on with my life. Although, being wasn't okay sometimes contribute to my life journey.

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

I'm sorry to drown you with my sentiments dearest readers. I was in the middle of a nostalgic moment when I decided to write this down.

Thank you again for your precious time reading this humble article of mine, I hope to see you again next. Be safe and be healthy always my dearest all!

All photos were from Unsplash.

Again, THANK YOU to all of you! My Sponsors, likers, upvoters and commenters. May God bless each of us always!

I love you all🧡🧡🧡.

Article #77 2-4
Published: February 5, 2022
Time: 11:08 PM PH 
All images used owned by me 
     unless otherwise stated 

Love,

Kendy42🧡