Why think future?
I woke up earlier at 4 am thinking a lot of things like what future awaits in me 5-10 years from now. Will I'm going to be successful? Will all my dreams come true? Will I get a good life or I will end up a burden to my mom. I'm turning 25 next month and I feel like I'm already left out. What if my relatives are right? That I will suffer in future. For sure they will be happy. Whew!
I'm scared. I'm scared that I will turn failure in life. I feel like lost and can't think a way to get back. I know what I need to do but I just feel out of motivation. Where is the Kelzy that full of dreams before? Why she's okay for what she only have now? This is not me. This is not what I want. Yes simple life for me is fine but not to the point that I will get used to it without thinking my family. I should remember that I have family that I need to support. I'm the eldest so I should be responsible.
I always shared here that I live alone means my siblings are not with me. We didn't grow up together that's why we're not that close. They didn't listen to me and act like they are above with me. I cant take care of them because they are so hard headed. Also they are big and I can't handle them. We come from broken family and mom understand why I cant babysit them. She also said that taking care of my half sister is not my obligation because she still have father but mom and that man is also not in good terms. I have brother (gay) which is my whole brother that is living in province. We are also not close because he is very demanding in everything and I don't like that kind of attitude. I understand that maybe they are envy in others but they know what is the status of our life.
While thinking about my future I don't see myself happy already having my own family but rather thinking about my siblings. I want them to experience the life they wanted before I settled down on my own but how will I gonna do it if I'm losing my interest to my dreams. Hays! Why I'm feeling this? Since I get sick I started to lose focus. I didn't set list goals but I kept it in mind but now it slowly losing. Huhu.
Have you ever feel this thing? Worried about the future? Worried if you will be a helpful to your family? Worried if you will end like a loser? Why I'm being like this. I'm feeling lost. I need some advice. I need some motivation. Sorry for the rants.
Why we need to think the future? 😿
Let's connect to my other socials (✿^‿^)
Sometimes I do get scared about the future but I have faith in God because what he his planning for me is going to be so great even my enemies would have no choice than to celebrate me