This virus keeps poisoning me

21 34
Avatar for Kelzy
Written by
2 years ago

Lead Image

How are you fam? I hope you are doing fine, and please be safe especially now that the Omnicron virus is spreading wildly. After the typhoon Odette, here goes the virus surge again. Whoo! When this world will be healed? Or this is the end? We are all to blame for the revenge of nature because we first hurt them and neglect the worth they can bring in the future.

*Sigh*

I can't think properly today. Lots of thoughts are running in my head, and I'm afraid that my anxiety is coming back again. It starts earlier in the morning when someone knocks on my door. I thought it's from the other room (neighbor's door) but I heard her call my name. Yes, her voice is she. I didn't get up and just listen to recognize her voice. At first, I thought it's my cousin, but she didn't call me Ate so that is not her. She called me again and thought it was my other cousin but she didn't know my house so it was not her again. She called me for the third time and I recognize her voice already. It's my classmate who lives on the 3rd floor of this building. I didn't open my door till she leaves. I don't know what she needs so early. Hays!

I told myself that I will restrict myself from people and yet they keep coming to me. I feel annoyed. Why they don't just leave me alone? And never contact me anymore! Huhuhu! Why I'm feeling like this? I feel so selfish. I don't want to see people. Please don't come to me.

Sponsors of Kelzy
empty
empty
empty

Is it just me who feels this? Like every time they come to me, I feel they going to give me a burden. I don't want it, please. I have lots of it. Since my relatives said hurtful words to me last year I avoid everyone (except my boyfriend). They are asking a favor and when I didn't fulfill it 100%, all the blame is on me. They will say they will pay me so I should do it properly. Am like a helper to them, not their family. Gaaad! I don't want the money! I want your sensitivity!

I already cut communicating with them last August to have peace of mind and till now I didn't reach out to them. I didn't even greet them last Christmas and this New Year. I already forgive them but the trauma is still here.

This anxiety is like a virus that keeps poisoning my personality. I avoided other people who are good to me and I feel guilty about it. Please don't judge me Hope I surpassed this. *Sigh* Pray for me.

Thanks for your time to read my rants. It's really heavy. I can't help it. Sorry.


Let's connect to my other social (✿^‿^)

Noise Cash | Twitter | Telegram

11
$ 4.10
$ 3.81 from @TheRandomRewarder
$ 0.05 from @Ruffa
$ 0.05 from @King_Gozie
+ 7
Sponsors of Kelzy
empty
empty
empty
Avatar for Kelzy
Written by
2 years ago

Comments

Hay nako, kapag usapang toxic relatives, nati-trigger talaga mga cells and tissues sa katawan ko eh. Haha, char~ pero seryoso, naol swerte sa kamag-anak hano, Ate?

Anyways, open lagi si TG ko kapag need mo ng ibang kausap hane? :)

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Haha isa pa tung gigil 😂 Haha. Pag di na keri expect mo madami ako masasabi hahaha

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Haha kaurat kasibay pero buti na lang at nakalayo na kami sa mga Aunty nila Mama. Bahala na sila dun, hahaha. Sure, Ate. No worries, magdaldalan tayo sa TG. Hihi

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Ako nakawala na pero sinusundan pa din 😂

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Ay same, Ate. May nababalitaan pa din sila Mama na chini-chika pa din kami sa iba 'nung mga toxic nilang Auntie. Kaurat talaga ay. 😅

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Anxiety doesn't help or improve things. It only fills the mind with burden.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

This virus should just let humanity be. It's causing a nuisance in our lives.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Truly 😿

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Seriously, naturingan na relatives pero ganyan. Yong dapat kakampi sa lahat, I mean WTH right 🙄. Just stop thinking about them nalang. Yan ang mabuting gawin

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Kaya gusto kita mag comment e may gigil lagi 😂

$ 0.00
2 years ago

HAHAHAHA, binubuhosnko lang any yamot na dapat ee mas madama mo dzaii ahaha

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Well done. Cut out negative people and negativity from you, it does not matter if they are family. They will just drag you down to their negative level.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

"we don't know what we have until we have lost it", that's the quote I will like you to think about. I don't think you should be avoiding people coz you may ended up avoiding someone that may likely help you in the future

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Hope I overcome this. I heard small voices whispering. They are here again. They are talking in my head again

$ 0.00
2 years ago

It's not only you that feels like staying alone sometimes but it's not good to be totally left out...

Good writing by the way even though you call this rants

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Thanks bro ❤️

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Mag Isa ka lang ba sa bahay nyo? Minsan Yung tao inaisolate tlga Yung sarili nila sa di mawaring dahilan..

$ 0.00
User's avatar Yen
2 years ago

Opo ate ako lang tas mga cats ko. Nasanay na rin ako kaya siguro pag may taong naghahanap sakin naiinis ako. Istorbo ganon naiisip ko 😭

$ 0.00
2 years ago

E nasan parents mo? Nagwowork kaba?

$ 0.00
User's avatar Yen
2 years ago

Nasa Taiwan madir ko. Ako lang mag isa nangungupahan hehe waley pa work hirap makapagwork ngayon kaya online biznes lang

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Don't say it's the end (of the world). Don't be so upset for their relatives, please try to start your communication to them again. Because, you think you are all alone that's what making you sad and upset in this pandemic.

$ 0.00
2 years ago