Starting Back To Zero

Lead image made in Canva

A lot of events happened this year and I bet most of you here feel it. I can say 2022 is the meanest year because it tripped and ripped me many times emotionally, and most of all financially. Every day I feel demotivated to go on but for the sake of my bills, I need to hold on.

I remember the life I had before, I can buy all the things I need and want. I have an emergency fund and savings for the days of shortcomings, I can do everything without minding others' position, in short before the money is never my problem. But since I shoulder my half-sister, all those savings are used up. It's not that I regret that I let her stay with me, it's just that, while I'm struggling to give and provide for her needs and wants, her father, on the other hand, living his life as if he doesn't have a responsibility to shoulder. Well, I shouldn't be surprised because he himself relies on his new partner.

It's already 6 months since my half-sister come and stayed with me and I can say, somehow I managed to be good and kind to her although I can't help to nag at her because of her stubbornness. But after scolding her I explained why and where my life pulls comes from. You know, it's really hard to look for money, especially now I don't have a stable job yet, so I want her to obey everything I say because it's for her own good.

This year I made things that I never did before, which borrowing money from others. Even though I hustle so hard, I still fall short. However, I'm just so fortunate that I have an understanding friend that I met here who lends me when I'm on tough days as long she has funds. She never doubts lending me and will ask "How much?" right away, that gives relief to my problem, and in return, I pay on time and add some interest even if she doesn't want to.

Feel free to hop in (❁´◡`❁)

Did you know, I didn't just borrow from one person, in fact, they are quite a few already, and I only meet them here on blogging. I feel honored because they trusted me and treat me as their real friend even though we haven't met personally yet. And oh! They didn't just save me from my financial problems but sometimes from my family situations too. I won't mention their names because they know who they are when they read this and will laugh when they remember it. Haha.

I know it's a bad habit to lend often but I'm not shy because I pay. However, I want to break it as much as possible cause I don't want to turn it into my vice so even if I'm really on a tight now I don't want to rely on others. I used to be independent in everything before and I know I can stand again on my own.

So from starting back to zero I will hustle hard to fill these wallets. I miss those positive digits in my accounts and I pray and claimed that they will get back, of course with the right consistency I will achieve it.

I learned a lot this year and for the next upcoming year, I would be more conscious and strict about my finances. I want to be financially free even if I have responsibilities on my shoulder.

Thanks for hearing my thoughts today :)