I'm Lazy because...

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Lazy people dream many things. They love to eat delicious food or buy new things. They want to put on sleeves without exerting effort and also want to breathe at their own comfort.

In short, they want to live waiting for blessings to receive.

Who doesn't like it? Says our lazy soul. When we will not do anything and blessing will come. Breakfast in bed, with a hot slave lol, but this only applies to those who got everything, and don't suit for like us so we need to do grinding.

Why I am lazy? I know the answer but I often deny it.

I live alone and no one will be mad if I don't do the chores. I love my room even it's quite a mess because my cat's playing all day like chess. But do you know sometimes I think what if I die alone and people will come inside and see my unwashed undies lol haha if that happens I hope I laundry them all haha lol. My mom is working abroad and she pays my apartment monthly cost $70 or P3500 in my country's fiat since I'm still unemployed. Some will think hayahay pala ang buhay mo "you have a good life" but they don't know everything. Yeah, sometimes I forgot the situation and it results in often neglected. This one is first the reason. I am too comfortable in my zone.

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Next is I'm a quiet perfectionist. When the one task I plan today didn't accomplish I will feel demotivated to do the rest. I am stuck and feel paralyzed thinking about it, I waste my whole day for nothing. I envy those writers here that they can do multi-task though they are busy in their real world. I know some people are busy working in their daily lives but still can manage to write, interact, playing while earning, and have time to communicate with their virtual friends. I think they don't sleep. How are they gonna do that? Tsk! I'm good at motivating others but I can't apply it to myself.

Another reason is I'm unmotivated to look for a job. Wages here in my country are too low but expenses are too high. Even you're a degree holder but a fresh graduate the estimated salary pays you $12-13 (P600-650) for 8 hours working plus 5 hours commuting back and forth, let's say you are outside for 13 hours. The setup is a bit acceptable if the pandemic never comes. Today, employees are working skeletal 3-4 days shift every week. If the corona case is starting to rise, the government will announce back to lockdown. If lockdown implements again there is no work and if there is no work, there is no pay. I work as a dermtech last June and quit after a month because I'm like working for nothing. Mom wants me to resign immediately and she doesn't push me through again. She knows how hard the situation is. I literally don't see my future here that's why I plan to work abroad and mom agreed with me.

You may think this is too simple a reason yet difficult for me because I overthink a lot. I tried to change this habit and mindset for a day but when evening comes all thoughts are running to my head. I don't know where to start and when to stop. I am not like this before, in fact, I finish college in my own pocket. I work many part-time jobs back then and people praise me for my diligence.

@EJ and mom help me with these issues of mine but I know it will not cure if I will not help myself out. My mental health is not really okay and I know the level of its severity but sometimes I also doubt and question myself, maybe I am just using it as an excuse.

I get lazy because I think everything

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We have different reasons why laziness comes but letting it control us will cause a bad trait that we wish was prevented immediately. (Hahaha! I told you I'm good in advising)

I plan to make this an Acrostic article like Ate @Jane did, but I remember it when I'm in the middle of the body hehe. Well, I'll do it next time.

So, here's my entry for prompt #19 Laziness by @JonicaBradley

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