Secret Cattleya Unexpected Blessing

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Way back 2016 a month before my Junior High School Completion Ceremony I found out I was pregnant. As a person who entered early in a motherhood journey it was so difficult most especially on me that I don't even know to do house chores. I was raised with my parents like a "princess" they cared me so much because of my illness history. You can read it on my article, entitled Battle Against My Fate and here's the link.

https://read.cash/@Kalopsia_11/battle-against-my-fate-4bed5c82

I was so scared when I saw two positive lines on pregnancy test, what I thought in my mind that how could I raise a child in a first place? Can I really be a good mother? Do I really know how to change a baby diaper? Every questions about raising a child are running in my mind. It was so hard to think. Acceptance from my family is also hard most especially that they daughter wasn't that kind of person they know. I wasn't so opened about myself before to my family, they know about my first puppy love but not the other. What they know are only I study in school and go home after. The news seems a disaster for them, I can't blame them because they are parents who have a dream for their child to finish school, graduate and find stable job. That's a parent mindset. Later on having a first grandchild makes them so happy, parents love they child even after all the mistakes. I was so blessed of having them as my parent. The father of my child is the one and first boyfriend I introduced personally to my parents, and everything went well.

MOTHERHOOD MEANING

Motherhood is the state of being a mother. A person enters motherhood when they become a mother. This most commonly happens when their child is born, but it can also happen through adoption or by marrying or becoming a partner to someone with children. Motherhood is a gender-specific version of the term parenthood.

My journey during my pregnancy isn't so good, people around me (even my family itself, relatives, friends, classmate and neighbors) criticize and judge me when they know I was pregnant. It takes me to deep depression I already been in attempt of abortion and suicide honestly because I can't hold anymore. I heared words from them like;

" smart but got pregnant early "

" pretty yet got pregnant "

" disgraced "

" smart yet stupid in love "

" not a good example " and many more.

SELF THOUGHTS

• First being in love was the best feeling I ever had in my life I was lack of attention to the family so I find love from other, in him I saw everything I did not see. I never regret loving this kind of man in my entire life. I also treat well of the man I choose I'm fat now unlike before, he provided the daily needs. He also financially support my study until I graduated with high honor after I stopped when I got pregnant.

• Second my pregnancy wasn't a mistakes, other people around said it's a mistake yet for me it's a blessing. A blessing that other woman doesn't have this kind opportunity to bear child from they own blood and flesh.

• Third I never claimed that I am smart. Yes I was in any honor list but I just study hard and do ever projects needed to submit, that's the main reason why I have those good grades.

• Forth it's my life none of your own business. No matter what happened I am living with the consequences of my own actions. Either it's favorite by the others or not.

• Lastly I also never beg for some coins to others to purchase any needs for my child. My husband and I worked hard even though it was just the two of us from the baby's needs to hospital bills, even my parents and my husband's parents we never ask any penny. Just the two of us winning the fight. " Sabi nga namin dalawa mag-asawa pumasok kasi sa sitwasyong ito kaya kami rin ang lalabas; tatlo na nga lang kami."

MOTHERHOOD SYMBOL

The moon is an inherently feminine symbol that's often associated with motherhood and fertility. It represents the rhythm of time, and its phases are symbolic for the cycle of life itself.

I named my unexpected blessing by SECRET CATTLEYA. Yes you read it right her first name is SECRET not because literally we made it by secret but she was my best secret that gives me a lot of happiness, love, care and comfort. She is my big realization that whatever I experienced from the past or happen in the future, there are still a lot of reason to stay and choose alive. She is my strength beyond my weakness. She is my light in my darkest ways. She bloomed like Cattleya orchids the most beautiful and unusual flowers in the world. She is my biggest blessing even though other people called you a "mistake". She gives me a lot of smile and laugh which I had never experienced before. When I see my daughter, I can say that my heart has been strengthened despite how many hurtful words I have caught from those people who criticize and judge me. Secret Cattleya a named with a big impact on my life, a named that marked my motherhood.

After all I never regretted my decision that she was born into the world. I made mistake yet I know God tapped my shoulder to wake me up in the reality of my actions and choice. He always there to guide me. To those who criticize and judge me they already met Mr. Karma they have the worst situation right now. I feel sad for them but that's also they choice.

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Thank you for reading my article, I hope you like it. God bless you always. Keep safe always! ❤️