Last Name: Father's Pride

I was in this sea place when I started writing my story, it seems one another place to think about what I started to write. I think it's been awhile since I came back here, it is so refreshing I like the breeze of the air although I don't like how hot the sun today. When I started to sit in sea stone I immediately grab two banana and sea urchins with of course vinegar with lot of chili, it is one of the sea food I like the most. By the way this is not my story to tell, it was just my introduction and it helps my mind to refresh.

Way back my elementary school days it was so smooth and nothing makes me any problem, I was just an ordinary child that there's nothing to worry about. Childhood makes a lot of memorable and happy moments unlike this days but childhood mold us on who we really are now. Since my Day Care days I use my father's last name but it changed when my graduation day on elementary school approached and legal documents needed to filed as soon as possible. In a fact that my birth certificate wasn't mark my Father's last name but on my mother's last name, I feel ashamed when the people reaction and treats change. At first it doesn't have any issues on me since I was a child but time goes by, most especially when I started studying in highschool.

" Hindi ka pala anak nang Papa mo?"

(you are not your father's child?)

" Wala ka pa lang papa?"

(you don't have a father?)

"Ampon ka lang!"

(you are adopted child!)

"Ba't di mo gamit apelyido nang Papa mo?"

(Why you didn't use your Father's last name?)

"Pangalawa mo na pala yang ama ngayon?"

(Is that your second father now?)

"Inanakan lang ba Mama mo nang ibang lalaki?"

(Did your mother just give birth to another man?)

My heart broke into pieces everytime I accidentally heard or someone asked about my last name, I don't know how to explained because I still on process of confused about it. Honestly I don't have any knowledge but it end when I ask my parents personally. My brother and I born before my parents marriage so the process of legal birth documents was immediately process by my grandmother without the knowledge of my parents. When they requested the birth (in Office of the Civil Registrar General/Philippines Statistics Authority or PSA) they were surprised when the documents resulted negative. My parents try they whole best to change it but people with evil desire exploit the person whom uneducated with law. Poverty also have a big impact for this kind of matter, even those person we know evade us for the seek of they own interests.. .for the seek of the money. My parents thought that the person they approached for help, help purely without large money involved. My parents already give enough money as what they say but at the end, nothing change except for my parents debt remain and continually increased the interest. Those person disappeared liked a bubble immediately. My parents could no longer recover from the amount of debt and could no longer afford to continue the process that's the main reason why until this present day my brother and I remain use my mother's last name. Indeed sad but funny at the same time that I have a two identity my grade school classmate known me by my father's last name and my highschool classmate known me by the mother's last name. My old classmate didn't recognize me on my social media accounts because of unfamiliar last name they'll just be surprised at the profile picture that I was their former classmate back then.

There was a time in my first year highschool every quarter teachers give certificate to acknowledge every student for they good general averages. When I got my certificate I felt sad because my adviser didn't sign my certificate above because I still have birth certificate issue. Everytime I have legal documents to signed I always felt the discrimination and sometimes someone insulted me immediately without knowing the truth. Words hurt more than actions.

"Why you don't have middle name?"

"Why you still use your mother's last name?"

"Are you other child?"

"Are you adopted child?"

"Why?"

"Why?"

I am a child grow in poverty without enough money, without power and without connections. Other people take advantage of the weakness I have they insulted and discriminate me for whom I am. Yet now I don't mind about who's last name I use as long as I don't discriminate, insult and disrespect other people.

Ones my sister joke around about anything and end up about last name topic, out of five siblings three of them use my father's last name including her. Hence my father reacted the joke and cried (it was my first time I saw my father cry) after he talked,

" anak ko kayo kahit ano man ang apelyidong dala ninyo, alam ninyo yun at alam ko yun." Sabi ni papa sa tuwing napapag-usapan naming ang tungkol sa apelyido namin.

("you are my child no matter what your last name is, you know that and I know that. "Dad said whenever we talked about our last name.")

After all the hurtful words other people thrown about my last name, my life status and everything negative feedbacks. I am still blessed having a family who supported and love me. After all those painful journey in the past I am still thankful to them because they words helps me much to be strong. No matter what other say I will stand for the truth. Surely when they see my Father no doubt I am his child. Even if I don't have middle name and use my mother's last name I am still contented because for me even if last name is missing at least my whole family is complete even my father. Who was my Father when I was a child until now, a father who never abandoned his child and his family against any obstacles like poverty.

Thank you for reading! Don't mind my grammatical errors. God bless you all. 😊