Relationship: If you're softhearted, you're finished

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Written by
1 year ago

Hello beautiful people!

A special greetings from me, hope you're doing very good? A lot has as been happening in my country currently and everything looks like a comedy skit even though it's painful how the government is playing candy with our head, but we are still laughing over everything. There's God.

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If you're soft, you're completely finished.

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We are in the era where a lot is happening in the relationship/marriage world, where;

  • People no longer consider cheating as irregular act,

  • where people break heart for a living,

  • Where People dribbles the dull and softhearted ones as Ronaldo with Football.

Everyday we here about cheating from both genders, both the married ones and the ones in Ordinary relationship (should we consider that as cheating as people say?), And the worst thing is that even the people we look up to, such as religious leaders and highly respected persons are found in this category and this has made a lot people to see relationship/marriage as hell or an institution that can't survive without cheating. Yes, people now go into relationship or marriage with this mindset and a lot of people have given up on anything called relationship because the end product will always attract "breakfast".

With all these, a lot of people also have given up on anything called being faithful to love in relationship, People now look at someone giving attention, love and faithfulness as a weakling. Do you blame them? No! Guys have seen a lot and not ready to be played. Infact from a good research, it shows that ladies love a guy more when he's weird (not softhearted).

I really don't understand WHY ladies love it when a guy is toxic, it baffles me always because I fall in the category of the "gentle" and things always turn out sour. But that's not the case with me anymore because I've improvised means to hide this softness 🥳.

  • Let's look at the case of this young man seeking for advice on what to do about his girlfriend

Am writing this with so much grief in my heart as I feel depressed, sometimes love can come with somuch pains and joy at same time.

So recently I agreed with my fiance to relocate to a different city since she got a job over there, we agreed a scheduled time we wil have to see each other within a specific period of time. This is someone we share everything in common the love was great, she's an awesome soul to be sincere.

I got so much attached to her, that it made me felt lonely and empty when she left, due to that reason I always want to call and check up frequently, This has been going on For about 4 weeks consistently, the first red flag I noticed was that she asked me not to be calling her frequently that sometimes it's not really cool with her, I respected that fact and reduced the way I call but I was beginning to loose the trust I had for her.

She goes out with her friend frequently and they love partying, even when I consistently warn her about the late nights they keep most times in clubs and partying she keeps telling me she's not a kid and she can handle things herself. Lately the relationship have been filled with lots of argument, misunderstanding, and the trust is beginning to reduce drastically.

Yesterday she uploaded a nasty picture as her display pics on WhatsApp, she was just putting on a top without br*, though she's busty and all that, I asked her take it down and upload something more appealing and decent that am not comfortable with such pics, she began to rant and start saying all manner of things like it's her privacy,her phone, her body,and she decides what to do with it, am an African man and I don't welcome this woke mentality of women nowadays, feeling they need to be half naked to feel s*xy I can't cope with such indecent dressing, I told her am not trying to tell her what to do but atleast you should respect my opinion sometimes, I got angry and sent her a very long message about my displeasure. since then she has refused to pick my calls nor reply my messages.

She tried calling earlier today but I didn't pick, I couldn't sleep through out the night the whole drama was just playing in my Head.

Guys is this enough reason to call of a relationship or am i my just being too self centered? have actually made up my mind just need to hear from different and more matured people in the house.

Source

This is a case of a soft guy being obsessed with his girlfriend and trust Ladies na, once they see that you are soft and love them so much, they start manifesting.

I'm the softhearted type(though I have mastered my heart🤪) and. I've faced this kinda thing some times ago...not in a "serious" relationship though. Once you start exhibiting too much love and attention and them feel you can't live without them, mehn you're finished!

I'll blame the guy for still pushing ahead to save a dead relationship, the first red flag should be okay enough to get the clear signal. But he foolishly stayed all in the name of love. To be sincere, the possibility of the lady meeting another man over there is sure...THE CHEATING come to play again.

I went to read comment and see the advice People rendered to the young man and 99% of the advices were based on the guy to leave the guy because he's too soft for her and she has seen his weak point and the lady is catching her cool time with rough guys there, also, he shouldn't kill himself on a lady that's still in the market 🤪.

Screenshot

Na this kind advice I dey like🤸🤸

I wanted to be share my experiences on being the softhearted guy in some of my Adventures but...🤣🤣🤣

Thanks for reading

9th June 2022

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1 year ago

Comments

About the story of that guy, there's no long talk in that, it's so obvious that the girl is no longer interested in the relationship because she cannot submit to his will but if I may ask, didn't the guy see her dressing before asking her out? I don't usually understand people, u can't expect her to change overnight, there are lots of girls out there that are decent, well cultured and even industrious but guys will prefer to go for the Nicki Minaj type and later they will be complaining, do you expect Nicki Minaj to possess Tope Alabi character?

And also, not all girls like toxic guys, someone like me can't even withstand a toxic guy, the problem here we are not always calming down to find the right person for us, immediately we see someone that possesses all the physical attribute we want in a spouse, we quickly go for them.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

And you pen down your heart on this. Wow!

The ladies I've met always prefer the "rough" guys and always the opposite of me cos I look innocent ehh🤣

$ 0.00
1 year ago

In the relationship status, the first thing to do is communication because wherever our partner is when communication and mutual commitment are maintained, the relationship is still in a normal process but when communication has started to occur rarely then it is a sign that something might have happened. It must be admitted that at this time there is a lot of infidelity, the effect may be because of new faces that are met, etc., being a soft person or not hard in a relationship is actually good but if the initial commitment does not go well then the relationship will be destroyed.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Yes, communication is really a basic key to keep a relationship running, no doubt about that. All I'm saying in the essence is that, issues are bound to occur from time to time and when this occurs, the softhearted suffers the money, especially when the person is a GUY

$ 0.00
1 year ago

All girls are not the same, some do listen to their mam if they truly love him but in this girl's case it's seems like the girl has lost interest and does not know how to tell the boy that's y she is behaving like that or maybe she have seen another person who she now love.

Ladies, pls let's keep our body Our body is our pride and it's private not public use which needs to be advertised.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Yeah, it's so obvious that the lady has lost interest or maybe she's very much ready to eat from the "street" again. Guys should be able to notice these things quickly and move on.

Thank you for stopping by

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Being soft-hearted is not bad somehow, but in this kind of situation, you're right that if you're soft-hearted you are finished. They say that if respect doesn't serve anymore, learn how to walk away from the table. This is not about being a fool, this is to make yourself free from everything that gives you pain, self-love is power.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Yes, I agree with this. Just walk away when it becomes tough and not handleable

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Share it na 😂😂 I want to hear about your numerous heartbreaks.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

My Heartbreaks are not much oo! I've known how to dribble the ball better now.🤣

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Hmm, I think it's miscommunication haha coming from me who had a lot of flings before I met the one whom I can be in a serious relationship with. Well, to be honest, I used to like bad boys because it's challenging hahaha I've met a couple of decent and soft hearted ones but I to me, back then, it's boring. That's a red flag for sure - the girl doesn't know how to communicate well with the guy, she should've reassured him and state the reasons why she doesn't want constant calls and texts. I guess it all boils down to our preferences - if we can tolerate our partner's ways. We can't dictate them for the clothes they wear, their lifestyle in general. All we can do is to be with them as they do their thing as well. It's called boundaries but with trust of course.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

You just confessed that you like bad boys, wow!

I want to turn to bad because it's like this "good boy" inside me is not favouring me🤣

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Stay a good boy! Haha I changed my perspective when I met my partner

$ 0.00
1 year ago

That guy na simp abeg 😂 I was just laughing while reading the whole thing, imagine being a man and you're clingy to your girlfriend, why won't she misbehave? That guy should just forget it, the girlfriend now belong to the streets 😆

$ 0.01
1 year ago

As in ehhhh! The girlfriend has been released to the street and the guy is just beating around the bush. Only miracle can return that girl

$ 0.00
1 year ago

The last comment is absolutely true, if truly she likes the guy she wouldn't indulge in such act. It means she is advertising herself to people, the guy should just move on with his life there is no need arguing over spilled milk, it's obvious the girl doesn't like him and besides since the guy doesn't like her act of indecency that simply means they are not meant for each other.

Also, not all girls dislikes a gentle and genuine guy o I'm a living testimony 🤣🤣🤣

$ 0.01
1 year ago

That's a real thick red flag for the guy to move on but he stayed and be looking for lovey-dovey 🤣. You don't like toxic guys? That's because you never enter better fittings. Once you start seeing things, eyes go open hahah🤣🤣

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Nah everyone cannot be the same, there are still some people like me out there😂😂

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Which people are soft hearted the always get hurt by others. She should does good behavior with him.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Yeah, that's how human are designed to be, once you're softhearted you are bound to suffer from hurt from other people

$ 0.00
1 year ago

I'll advice the young man to either hear from her why she is putting up such behavior lately, or he moves on with his life.. He needs to get the right information before he acts.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Ask the lady again with that clear signal? The girl has been loosed to the street already and only miracle can capture her back.🤣

$ 0.00
1 year ago

When we are entering a relationship, we should have guts to take risk. No matter what happens, fight for your love.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Yes, I agree, relationship is all about risk, but there are some love that's not worth fighting for especially the case of that guy

$ 0.00
1 year ago