My Version: Never Have I Ever

Thursday was good for me because I saw rusty smiling on me with multiple visitations. At first when I started I was feeling demovated because I was visited once and left for about three days. But thank God I'm on track.

I've read a lot of NEVER HAVE I EVER trend on this platform and all of them got me cracked me up with laughter. I never wanted to release my own version looking at it as it's been trending and you guys have said it all, but I think this is the kind of thing I like. So let me dish out mine from my pot. Special acknowledgement to everyone that I've read their version of this🙌. Kushyzee, Princessbuyaso, Jumper etc

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SKIPPED A CLASS

To be sincere, is there anyone that passed through school without skipping classes? I'm yet to see one.

During secondary school I was seen in the middle of the good crew and the bad gang, when it comes to play I was very perfect and when it comes to seriousness I was good as well. I was in science class then. You know, science People are known to be more brilliant compared to other classes. Should we drag this? Lol🤣🤣. But 97% of my friends were in social class, So whenever a tiring teacher step in to give us unending lectures, I sneak out to meet my guys in the social class.

Our biology teacherwas a typical example of this, be loves to fix unscheduled class that last from 12:30pm till 4:30pm and he expect everyone to be in attendance in that hot sun,... that's the major class I missed.

Another class I regularly missed was the french class. The teacher was the bully freaked. The more you stay in his class, the more you receive strokes of cane🤗. He knows how to force with cane to learn another man's language 😂😂.

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CHEAT ON EXAM

Yes! yes! Yes! But mine was on a different level.

I want to ask, especially to my NIGERIAN people. You know OPEN TEST in the tertiary schools, I mean a test that you're allowed to use text book to write, is that cheating as well? Lol

It was on statistic course in my first year in school that I cheated THE LECTURER. She was ready to fail People that didn't buy her text book via test. On the day of the test, she grouped us into three groups because she want to thoroughly segregate the sheep from the goat. She divided the Hall into two halves and on each she separated those having the text book from the people that don't have.

I masterplanned it, I borrowed the textbook from a friend that had finished writing with his name written on it. Changing or cancelling the name would let the lecturer know that it was borrowed, so I went inside with the name of the student.

This is the critical part now, I went with two answer booklets, one having my real name and the other with the name of the student (the name appearing on the textbook). We were writing while she was going on checking the booklets if actually the textbook names tallied with the name on the answer booklet. I was scared and as well brave, I was writing on the two papers should incase she comes to my seat to check.

When she got to my seat, I became more scared and God being so kind, she just glanced through the names from her standing position and didn't bothered to touch to see if I was compromising. Yeah! I made it that day. If I were caught, it would have been so dangerous because female lecturers in engineering department are deadly!

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FORGED MY PARENTS SIGNATURE

A big no to this because my parents were not that learned to own a signature. Yes, it was of recent they opened a bank account because we can't be using other people's account to send them money Always.

But I have forged people's signature on a delecate ground.

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I once worked in an office that operated current account with different signatories. I was more like the accountant then, so if I want withdraw money I just meet two of these signatories to sign. And these people are not the sit at home type, they have their works too. Oftentimes I usually transport to meet them at their work place to sign a cheque.

At some point also, they started feeling like I was disturbing them so they objected most of my calls.

I introduced this signature forgery to my boss and he concurred. Yeeeeyyy! I'm not dull at all. I signed the cheque at one trial and it looked exactly as their Handwritting. I took the cheque to bank and the cashiers didn't checked twice. I got my money and left. My boss so much loved the method and we adopted the process for many times.

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MAKE FAKE EXCUSES FOR BEING LATE.

I never lied on this for one day, do you know why? At the judgement ground there's no room for explanation or excuse. Once you're late you're late and your strokes of the cane are sure.

Judgement ground here means the place the teacher and senior prefects hold latecomers to hostage with strokes of cane

With this effect, once I'm late for school and not ready to face their whipping judgement, I usually take the bush road and for sure.....the senior prefects would always be there to hunt down People passing through the bush road. This oftentimes result to jungle Justice between junior students and the senior prefects. I was never caught once because once I see they're around, I step back and wait for an hour to go back when they might have resumed their lectures.

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BULLIED ANYONE AT SCHOOL

Guys! I was massively bullied because of my slim statue and my light complexion. But the other way round, I was among the top three that initiate names for students. My very close friend then still has the name I gave to him sticked to him till now [Normadic:: I can't forget this name in a hurry 🤣]

Sorry to say, I don't know how to put it but I initiated a bullying name for one NYSC females teacher. She taught us chemistry and she's from Yoruba, you know how their accent is. There's how she pronounces "ELEMENT"(In Yoruba accent) and anytime she pronounces it, I burst into loud laughter. Even if I want to hold myself not to laugh, the intonation amuses me always. She gave me series of lashes but it didn't stopped too, to the extent that all the students took note of the Intonation anytime she says it, the class mumours with laughter. At the end we became best of friends.

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I didn't intend to right this as lengthy as this....sorry for taking you on a long run.

Thanks for reading

31st March 2022