5 July 2021, Somewhere in the Metaverse - UplandDood (@Just1Dood)

Yesterday was a Sunday so I took a break from posting here. However, this article was actually written on 2 July 2021 but was unpolished. I haven't found time to polish it yet.

Today was a crazy busy day. I could have sworn the day was running on fast forward. It's now just a couple of hours short of going into Tuesday that I have finally found the time to sit down and polish this before posting.

Before we go into the article, let me use a prologue. It's the first time I'm using a prologue, so in a sense, I'm making history. LOL.

Prologue

First off, please proceed with a low expectation. Besides using my first ever Prologue, this is also my first attempt at Horrordy. Yeah, I know. I thought since there is Dramedy, so why not Horrordy? No need to cover your ears as you read. It won't be scary. The only reason it's a horrordy is that there are witches and I try to make it funny.

Secondly, I haven't reached the level where I can write very convincing dialogues in my fictional writing.

This story happened in a land not so far, far, away. Everything is purposefully made vague. If I made it clear, you may mistakenly think these witches were your neighbors too.

The Land

I (not the real I, I but the fictional character I) live in a seemingly enchanted land. It's almost like a paradise (sorry to burst your bubble. There is no 100% paradise). Lots of greenery. Misty mornings, sunny afternoons, and cool nights.

Whether it's mountain airs, seaside breezes or smoky tavern smells, they are all within a few hour's trips from each other.

The best part is that no matter if you're enjoying mountain airs, seaside breezes, or smoky tavern smells, one thing is within easy reach - the king of fruits. It is the pride of this land. Anywhere you go in this land, once the subject of this fruit is brought up, you will get a strong reaction to it.

One thing is for certain if you are a lover of this fruit - you will want to confirm before bringing it into any tavern though. They may not allow it. Nothing should overcome the tavern smell. People who go to taverns prefer tavern smells. They don't go there to smell fruits.

The Monarch

In this land, the monarch has absolute powers. All subjects have to toe the line. When they say smile, you smile, sit, you sit. And when they say quiet, you better hold in your farts.

Generally, the monarch lets the people be as the people are peace-loving, and toeing any lines are not a major issue. After all, the majority were not hindered from enjoying their greatest love - the king of fruits.

The Village

The village is located in a hilly area not too far from where all the taverns are located. You can say that it's between the taverns and the area of mountains airs.

For the most part, the village is a peaceful place to live in. In fact, it's so peaceful that folks who are sick of tavern smell come here for the mountain airs.

I'm sure at this point of the article, you're wondering where are the witches, right? Patience, I'll come to that. Let me set the stage for it.

In most villages as is this village, there is a Baron. Baron's usually owns lands and have some standings in the monarchy.

Daily and trivial matters in the village are not handled personally by the Baron but through the Baron's office.

The Neighbors - 3 Witches

You have reached the middle of the story. Like olden days, there is an intermission. You may take a toilet break or go grab some snacks. I'll continue after you come back.

Alright, we have finally come to the witches part.

Sneaky as they are, many subjects are not aware that hidden amongst their midst were 3 witches.

Bestowed with the ability to look through any disguise and blinding spells, I was able to discern who they are. (Note: I'd advise you to have your eyesight checked if you don't notice the black pointy hat and black robe they wear)

Witch #1

This one lived very close by to me. She drives a land-made chariot - a 2-Cats Carriage pulled by 2 donkeys.

Oftentimes, this particular witch acts as if she owns the village. She would park her Two-Cats Carriage wherever is convenient for her even if it meant blocking others' pathways.

She would also take over common land and plant plants she deemed fit for her own consumption.

One peculiar behavior of this witch is that she hoards things, her own things, and other people's things. If you leave anything unattended, before long, she'll lay claim to it.

Witch #2

Witch #2 has many huts that she sometimes rents out to those looking for an escape from the smelly taverns. I can't tell if she has ovens large enough for wandering children in her huts. I didn't check.

Though she doesn't bother us as much, she does exhibit some similar characteristics to the first. Encroaching public spaces and making them her own is one such.

Interestingly, she also owns a land-made chariot, albeit a larger one. This is pulled by 2 horses, it's a 4-Cats carriage.

Witch #3

I save the most dangerous one for last. This one is embedded in the Baron's Office. Outwardly, she seemed to be nice and helpful. But if you're not careful, you'll get stung before you know what hit you. Instead of helping make the village a peaceful place, she ignored trouble makers and rouse up others into thinking that you are the trouble maker. Her main spell is brainwashing others into believing her words blindly.

Since she's mostly hidden, I have no idea what chariot she owns, if any. It could be a land-made inconspicuous broom.

SOS

I need help. I'm throwing out a challenge, should you accept it, to offer solutions on how to handle each one of these witches. Or maybe if I should move further inland where witches don't dwell and where the king of fruits abounds.

Epilogue

If you think this story is bad, wait till you read the sequel. Actually, scrap that. This is so bad that I have given myself a self-imposed ban on writing fictional articles, especially on witches for one year. You can rest easy.

Epilogue 2 - The Story Continues

I'll post all links to articles that answered the above SOS. Do let me know if you've published one.

9 July 2021 - The Three Witches - Call For Help (Part 1. Part 2 pending publication by @snapping.turtle)

Disclaimer

This is a work of fiction. Unless otherwise indicated, all the Lands, Mountains, Seasides, Taverns, Fruits, Witches, Villages, Smells, events, and incidents in this article are either the product of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

No cats, donkeys, horses, and witches were hurt in the production of this article.

Glossary

King of Fruits:

It's not called the king of fruits for nothing. It smells like the king of smelly socks and dangerous like the king of weapons. Yes, if you throw this at someone, you may kill him with it. Some swears it tastes like heaven. Others think it's spawned from hell and would touch it with a 10-foot pole.

Witches:

Generally seen as sneaking about wearing pointy black hats and black flowing robes. Sometimes accompanied by a black cat. Traditionally, their preferred mode of transportation is a broom. I don't know if they use the same broom for sweeping too. I never asked.

Land-Made Chariots:

i. Two Cats Carriage pulled by Two Donkeys - This is a popular choice carriage due to its affordability. However, it doesn't mean that it came with shoddy safety features. In fact, the two cats are a new front collision safety feature.

ii. Four Cats Carriage pulled by Two Horses - This is a more expensive and advanced carriage. More expensive because Horses cost more. More advanced because it has four cats making this model equipped with front and back collision safety features.

Thank you for reading. Do share your own experience in the comment section below.

Stay safe and see you in the next article.

Sources:

Header: Unsplash.com - Kevin Phillips

Image 1: Unsplash.com - Paul Szewczyk

Image 2: Unsplash.com - Jeff Finley

Image 3 Pixabay.com -  E. Dichtl

Thank you again for dropping by. Have fun with English. Remember to share your experience in the comment section.

Do drop by to say hi at my following addresses. I promise I'll be at home :)

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