19 July 2021, Somewhere in the Metaverse - UplandDood (@Just1Dood) 

Bzzzt - You're Tagged!

If the tags in read.cash were electrified, I'd be Electroman by now. I've been tagged so much in the last few days that I will be able to shoot electricity out of my fingers. Maybe toes too.

The latest such tag was from @emily2u. If you've read my article, "Never say Never. I've been tagged", you'll know that she's the culprit who started a series of tags with my handle. In fact, the latest one she had put me at the first tag! Aarrghh. The nerve! You can verify the tag in her article, "Would I Rather This/That"

The Excuse

If you've read the article where I was first tagged, I'd tried to wiggle my way out of taking the challenge with the excuse that I have a bad memory. Well, that didn't work. News gets around in this community and I have a suspicion that they ganged up on me. The rest is history. I've pooped the resulting "Never..." article. Hahahah...

This time around, she said I have no excuse. But little did she know that it's actually a more convincing excuse. Again, if you have read "An introvert in an extrovert's clothing", you'll find out that I'm an introvert with a high leaning towards the Phlegmatic personality type. One weakness is Phglematics have a hard time making decisions!

So, if you ask me to choose between two 'rathers', it'll take me forever to make up my mind. Do you have that long to read this article? Hahaha...

The Journey Starts

Once I've decided to consider this challenge...Wait, wait...Stop, stop. Okay, let me explain what the challenge is first. Skip to the bottom if you can't wait to find out what the challenge is. Then get back here to continue with the rest of the article. My articles are interactive. No worries. I'll still be around when you get back here.

So, once I've decided to consider this challenge, which by now you know is to "choose between two nonsensical rathers" and write about it, something popped into my mind. I was reminded of something. A rare occasion. If you'd think that its cause for celebration, I'd say that you're pushing your luck there, buddy.

Fair warning: I never promised I wouldn't cheat. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to finish this article. So, there you have it.

Let's get this out of the way:

1. I'd rather be a sparrow than a snail! Yes, I would!

2. I'd rather be a hammer than a nail! Yes, I would!

Oh wait...that's a song!

It's called "El Condor Pasa" by Simon & Garfunkle. and here's the video clip and below is the lyric:

Lyrics

I'd rather be a sparrow than a snail
Yes, I would
If I could
I surely would

I'd rather be a hammer than a nail
Yes, I would
If I only could
I surely would

Away, I'd rather sail away
Like a swan that's here and gone
A man gets tied up to the ground
He gives the world its saddest sound
Its saddest sound

I'd rather be a forest than a street
Yes, I would
If I could
I surely would

I'd rather feel the earth beneath my feet
Yes, I would
If I only could
I surely would

Source: Musixmatch

If by a slim chance the questions generated match those in the song above, I'll just proceed to answer the remaining questions. Deal?

Okay, here goes nothing. Don't let me say I didn't warn you. It'll not be as what you expect. That's for sure.

1. Would you rather find a hidden camera in your bathroom or in your bedroom?

Do you want to know the truth? Okay, you said it. I would rather find the nincompoop who put them there and hope that he/she enjoys the CCTVs in jail.

2. Would you rather use a phone that had an extremely weak signal and that was extremely slow?

This is a tough one. It's like asking me if I'd rather eat my dog's poo or my cat's poo. What do you think? Yeah, see? Okay, I move to the next one. Not before I throw both phones into the river first though.

3. Would you rather have lips made of teeth or teeth made of lips?

Okay. If you can show me a person who have lips made of teeth and another who has teeth made of lips, then I'll answer this question. Not before then.

4. Would you rather have a great significant other but o friends

I'd rather have a great significant other. Cause your significant other can also be your best friend. Your best friend can't be your significant other. I know you can argue your case but that's just you. Not for me.

5. Would you rather have other people think your smell like bacon or have every person you meet smell like bacon to you?

Oh, come one. Who has ever heard of anyone smelling like bacon? Alright, let's entertain this nonsense. If push comes to shove, I prefer if everyone I meet smell like bacon to me. Then I can invite them when it's time for breakfast, they can sit across from me while I have my coffee and fried eggs. Then I'd feel like having bacon without the cost. You know what people say, ask a silly question, get a silly answer.

6. Would you rather know when you're going to die or how you're going to die?

I know that once my heart stops, that's when I die. And once my heart stops, my brain would be starved of oxygen and when starved long enough of oxygen, it's called brain dead (any doctors can verify this?). That's how I'll die...from oxygen starvation. I think that kinda answers when and how.

For the astute, you know that I'm squirming my way out of this one. See? Don't ask phlegmatics difficult questions. You'll never get an answer.

7. Would you rather be in a room for a year with only one movie to watch or only one book to read?

Obvious choice. Book. Cause if there's no current or the player breaks down, then I'm screwed for the remainder of the year.

8. Would you rather die before your significant other or after your significant other?

A good question. I'd rather die after my significant other. I know it'll be too painful to lose loved ones and painful though it is, I'd rather I experience it rather than her.

9. Would you rather have your phone hacked or have your house robbed?

Look, I'm not going around claiming bad things to happen.

10. Would you rather work hard to earn $1 million or inherit $1 million?

Let me tell you a secret. The easiest way to detect a liar is to ask him/her this question and get the answer, "I would rather work hard to earn $1 million". My foot, you liar! You go ahead and work. I'll just inherit. it.

Time Wastus, Money Spentus

That's it. Thanks for wasting your time here with me. Now, please spend some money before you leave. It will go a long way to build relationships. I promise. I have no choice but to work hard for my $1 million.

Hahahaha....

Tiny epilogue

Remember I said that I have no promises when it comes to cheating. Well, I didn't. Those were the original 10 questions generated. They were all so bad that I thought there's no point in cheating.

The Challenge

I'll not be tagging anyone. Consider yourself tagged if you read this article. Unless, of course, if you've already answered these stupid questions. Sucker! Hahaha!

For the uninitiated, all is good. Just proceed as follows:

1. Go to this link - RandomWordGenerator.com

2. Under Number of Questions, at the top left corner of the page, enter "10"

3. Then click the Generate Would You Rather Question button to get your nonsense questions.

That's it. Let the fun begin. I look forward to reading yours.

Stay safe and see you in the next article.

Sources:

Header: Unsplash.com - Tim Mossholder

Image 1: Unsplash.com - ANIRUDH

Image 2: Unsplash.com - Tina Rataj-Berard

Thank you again for dropping by. Have fun with English. Remember to share your experience in the comment section.

Do drop by to say hi at my following addresses. I promise I'll be at home :)

NoiseCash: UplandDood

Twitter: UplandDood

Publish0x: UplandDood (link takes you to site. You'll have to search for UplandDood to find me)