Writing Prompt #30: Fear
"Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering."
--Yoda
When I was a very little girl I slept with a baseball bat. Just in case. I also practiced what I would do when the bad guys came to kidnap me. I was really fixated on being kidnaped. I practiced appearing dead. I thought if I were dead, they wouldn't want to kidnap me. I obsessed about this even into my waking hours. When I was riding in a car, I would close my eyes and practice memorizing the turns and stops. So, you know, when I escaped I could tell people where the bad guys were hiding.
I'm not sure what instilled this fear in me. All I know is the fear was real. It was big. It was constant. When I turned 9 and we moved to Germany, the fear of being kidnapped disappeared.
Whether it is fear of the dark, fear of success, fear of failure, fear of flying, or fear of things that go bump in the night, we all have fears. Some of our fears are manageable and some may seem silly. Some of our fears may paralyze us.
People who aren't terrified of lightning think my terror is cute or funny. Granted, I've found ways to deflect with humor. I might tell someone, "Lightning knows where I live and wants to come eat my face." And they will laugh. Even when I make a joke out of it, my fear seems irrational to them.
Alternately, I don't really get the fear of snakes or spiders. I love snakes and spiders. I love insects. Maybe not mosquitos or flies. Especially not wasps.
I'm afraid of wasps. They are a thing of nightmares. I may also be allergic to them. I fear them and they seem to know it. They always come find me. Once, I stepped out of the shower, wrapped myself in a towel, and got stung. Once I was just sitting on my couch watching TV and I got stung. Reaching for the dish soap. Waling through the grass. Every time, minding my own business, and bam! I get stung.
Most people who get stung by wasps feel a little bit of pain for a few minutes. They might get a red mark. Me? Oh, I feel it for two or three days. And the mark it leaves behind is hot, red, and swollen. For days. And it feels like I am continuously being stung over and over again.
So, snakes and spiders? Bring them to me. I'll hold them and pet them. But a wasp? When I see one of those flying assholes, I shriek like a siren and run. Keith always has to come kill it. I make him kill it more than once if possible.
I completely understand both the fear of failure and the fear of success. I have suffered both fears at one time or another in my life. Sometimes at the same time which seems really weird.
My weirdest fear is hair. Hair that is not attached to a body. It doesn't matter if it is dog, cat, or human hair. If it isn't attached, I freak right the fuck out when it gets near me. THIS fear I understand. Though I didn't for most of my life. I have allergies. They get pretty severe. I break out in hives all over. Hair is one of my allergens. Horse hair. Cow hair. Cat hair. At least the trepidation I feel for hair is well-founded in logic. Just because I wasn't aware of the logic doesn't mean it wasn't there. Right?
How about you? What are your deepest fears? What are your weirdest fears? Let us know by participating in this prompt. Here's how:
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Write anything about FIRE
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I think you know your fears and you can face them, which is very good.