Photo Journaling to Reduce Anxiety

(It's not about cats, this time)

Today is the day the seller of the home on which we bid will make his decision. I am not hopeful that he will accept our offer. I do hope he comes back with a counter offer, though instead of flat out rejecting ours.

We offered cash rather than a mortgage. We waived inspection and a new survey. Mortgage companies require both. It would seem we have an advantage over other buyers. The disadvantage is that the cash price we offered was less than he originally paid for the place.

We know he is very eager to sell. He wants to close before April 8. I really hope he comes back with a counter! I think I already said that.

I'm obviously on pins and needles waiting for this guy to make up his mind so we can either keep looking or start planning our move. EEEEEEEE! I'm a ball of nerves. So, I decided to go through some photos and write about them to distract myself.

What do you do when you are feeling nervous or anxious?

The lead photo some of you may have already seen. It is something I cooked a while ago. Stuffed peppers, potaoes and squash. I think I used lamb, but I forget now and that is not important. I found this photo so I could show my mom. I love to cook and it is one of the things that keeps me from freaking out 24/7.

Tonight we are going to my babiest brother's house and grilling. Temperatures will reach in the 40s Farenheit (4.44 Celsius) which is fairly warm. My mom needs to practice her clarinet before she is ready to drive there. Once at my brother's I will be able to distract myself. But here, I am just too tense.

I came across this photo recently. It was Christmas and we were in Kansas at my Grandparent's home. That is Keith on my right and Kara, at 8 months, on my lap. Dang do we look young! I was 20 and Keith was 21. Isn't he gorgeous? We did not know it, yet, but I was already pregnant with Kayla. She was born the following September.

Speaking of my grandparents, this is a photo I came across of my grandmother and her parents. This must've been just before my great-grandmother died. I see a lot of Kara in my great-grandmother. I see a lot of my mom in Grandma Eleanor.

I also came across these adorable little masks. They are from a hotel in Beijing. In some countries, hotels will put a piece of candy on the pillow. Instead of candy, this hotel put these little masks. My parents visited China in (I think) 2007.

Many of the following photos are from Los Angeles.

This is a bit of the yard at Gracie's house.

You may remember I was there for over 1 month. The trees and plants and birds, squirrels, lizards, and coyotes were my companions while I was there.

Being outside was very calming to me. I became fascinated with the trees. Especially the bark on this palm tree. I have so many photos of it. I will probably do a painting inspired by it.

I often tried to capture the light and the feelings of peace the trees gave me. I particularly like the dark shadows between some of the trees.

I could imagine all sorts of stories inspired by the shadows. Fairy tales and adventure stories.

The shadows sometimes brought a lump to my throat. I'm not sure why. It felt like a good place to hide or to live (if I were a tree sprite). It felt like I could go walk through and find Narnia on the other side.

Other days the shadows looked somewhat foreboding. I could imagine eyes staring out from the depths of the shadows. Maybe yellow eyes or red eyes. Maybe the eyes of a wolf or a dragon.

I'm not sure the photos capture the emotions I felt when I was staring into the trees for other viewers. But when I look at them I go right back to that emotional spot in my heart. I hope to do some paintings. Or even just frame the photos or have them transferred to canvas.

Something.

The other main thing that captured my attention out back was the flock of crows. I guess a group of crows is called a murder. This next photo looks like more than one murder. I joked that it was a serial murder or a spree murder. That's a lot of crows.

I would also walk around picking up random rocks and snail shells. I thought about bringing the shells home with me, but I knew they would just end up as clutter so I snapped a few pics. Here's one of my favorites.

Each shell was different. Some were vibrant, some were so old and faded they were completely white.

All of them were beautiful.

Do you like snails?

I love snails. I had one as a pet. I took it bowling. It hung out on the table where we had our drinks while we bowled. After we were done I put it on a plant outside. It was my pet for only a day. It was well loved, nonetheless.

Gracie took us out to eat after we went to the funeral home to pay for some additions to the funeral. That's Gracie in the middle, me in the dark glasses, and my play daughter, Gracie's niece, Megan.

Can you tell Gracie is 1/2 Armenian, 1/4 Filipina, and 1/4 of European descent? Such an interesting family history.

We went to an Italian restaurant. I can't remember the name of the pasta dish I had, only that it was delicious.

Yummmmmmmmmm!

Although it was a very sad occasion, Gracie, Megan, and I had a lot of fun. We had some really good laughs.

Here, you can see Gracie talking about me.

And here, I finally got her attention so she would let me take a photo.

Gracie is partially deaf. So, when she was looking at Megan talking to me, she didn't know I was busy snapping pics. I also have some video of that day.

I promised this photo journal wouldn't be about cats, but I love this photo so much.

Fat Barney is being lazy and sleeping on the weights. I think this photo should be captioned, "Bro, do you even lift?"

I hear my mom practicing her clarinet so I want to start getting ready to go see my baby brudder.

Thanks for reading and thanks for being patient with my anxiety and my life.

All images photos by Jonica Bradley