Reply @meherun about one sided love.

So like I was saying in response to your article I've been in three very... lengthy and deep one-sided love... disasters.

The first was when I was pretty young. I guess from 9 years old until I was 14 with the last two years spent being in love with someone I never saw or spoke, except for a picture hanging above my bed headrest (which I dutifully kissed every night before sleeping).

If i had sponsors i guess they'd go here!

It was a girl in my class and it was my first conscious experience of being in love. She was one of the more popular girls and I was part of what you might call the wasn't.

I wasn't popular, I wasn't popular, I just wasn't. The first year I was in love I kept it from everybody, even from my parents. It was coming back the next year off from a super vacation which had left me as optimistically motivated and confident feeling like there was nothing I couldn't do. So as soon as I saw her walking into the schoolyard I went right up into her path and told her

"There is something I need you to know. I've been in love with you since the start of last school year, and when just saw you again for the first time I was just as blown away and in love, as that very first day I saw you."

And then proceed to give her a peck on her cheek. I can tell you the existence of my confidence, optimism, and motivation from that moment on were measured in seconds. She was with her 2 BFF's who were having spasms from laughing so hard and she had, at least in the way I remember it, an expression that kind of said "I'm so sorry for you and so sorry for what I'm about to do to you" until her flat open hand landed on my cheek.

I had never been as miserable as I was at that moment. But I didn't love her less, and after a month or two we became friends because I was simply pretty hard. I was always there for her, no matter what. I even took the blame for her once when she (accidentally) broke a window in school and so much more. Fast forward to the last day before we graduated middle school and the last day I ever saw her. We had organized a "playback show" as a goodbye, remember us kind of traditional thing where we all playback our favorite singer or band. (i did "jewel of the Nile" by Precious Wilson. Imagine an 11-year-old pasty white boy, dressed in his grandmother's dress... i won't torture you with more imagery)

The evening was the goodbye "Disco" where there was music drinks (Spiked halfway through, but that is another story) and dancing. The last dance she came to me (my heart still skips a beat when i see the images in my mind) and asked me to dance with her and at the end of the dance she gave me my first real kiss.

But like I said, I never ever saw her again. Oh my god, I am such an idiot that even right now, I am crying...

The second and possibly worst one side love I had was with a woman i met when i was just 18, and getting into my career. I was trying to get a larger social circle and decided to visit the latest club in our city that just opened. Well, i did fall into a group of friends since that evening who got together every weekend before going out. And pretty soon i was in love with this girl but she had a relationship with a guy who was also in the group. She broke up with him at one point which i took as the perfect time to confess my love for her. Well, that wasn't pretty either. She was cool about it but did the ultimate friendzone headshot: "I like you very much, and i love you, but only as a friend."

Well, I've been the guy that helped her through the lowest moments of her love life, I've given her the key to my apartment and went out one night so she could have sex in my apartment with some guy I don't even remember, and even once or twice been that idiot that helped her take the tension off without 1concequences. Well if I am completely honest: If she'd call me today, asking me for help, I'd jump right into my car and drive anywhere no questions asked to help her.

I am... let's just call it late forties now. Almost 30 years of one-sided love were spent in the friend zone.

The third one was when I was 30 and hadn't seen case number two for about two years, and she had just come out of a relationship that had ended badly with her being a single mom of a three-month-old boy. She intuited and hinted just enough "interest" in me to.... well... Same old story. That one was the shortest one that lasted only 4 years.

So with that track record in mind, I can tell you that despite the vibe you're trying to put forward in your article, there is no such thing as deciding if you're going to be in one-sided love or not, or how you will handle such a situation next time. Love isn't something you can control.

If you can control your love, you've never been in love.

I'm not saying you cannot control your actions towards your one-sided love though. That is what makes us human: The ability to do things that go against our emotions, feelings, and instincts.

But the feeling itself... that you have no control over whatsoever. Sorry for the text wall here but you hit kind of a sore note in my life here with your article.