They're haunting me again

When was the last time I published an article here? It's been a week already, I guess. I haven't visited my own profile here recently, so I forgot my last published article here. 

Hello there! How's it going, my lovely and gorgeous read cash buddies? I missed you all. No cap, lol. Yeah, I'm not kidding. I literally missed you all. I miss interacting and exchanging some "chika" here and participating in challenges. I really miss everything here on this platform. Even though I was only out for a few weeks, it feels like I was out for the whole month of February. I was only active in the first two weeks of February, but then I suddenly became inactive. I became so busy with my tons of schoolwork to the point that I became demotivated and I lost my inspiration to write.

But I do still visit here from time to time, but read only a few articles. I still tried my very best to interact even though I hadn't written an article. I feel so drained and unmotivated. I don't know why, but my body became so down all of a sudden that I lost the will to write and interact with everything. Not just on this platform, but on every social media site. I feel like I'm back to being the old me again, which I really hate. The alive but dead inside version of me

I thought I outsmarted my anxiety and depression, but dang, they're back again, haunting me every night. They're keeping me awake every night for no reason. I've been staying up late at night. I couldn't sleep even though I was already in bed at 8pm, trying to sleep as early as I could, but then I still ended up staring at the ceiling at 1 am. Depression and anxiety are the ones that keep me awake at night. 

I hate it; my body is so tired and I'm so drained. But I couldn't rest even if I wanted to. I've started to lose weight again, and I'm getting skinnier again. I lost my appetite and I always eat late. I don't eat at the right time. I think I can only count those few moments when I laughed again and was truly happy. 

This is what I really hate. This moment in my life where I'm back to the old lifeless me. I've been avoiding it for a long time, but I'm not sure why it came back to haunt me. I've been thinking only positive and happy thoughts lately. I've been giving out positive vibes just to make myself happy and feel the feeling of being alive again. But I guess it's still no use. These voices inside my head always win.

This day, I pushed myself to do things again and be back to the hyper and jolly me. I posted again on noise and interacted with some wholesome people on noise, and I truly felt happy again. But I can really tell that the energy was not the same as it was before. But I'm trying to pick myself up again. I won't let darkness devour the soul in me. 

I just want to publish an article before the month of February ends. And I hope by tomorrow, in the month of March, I will be waking up with no more dramas in my mind. No more toxicity, only positivity.

Manifesting a fruitful month of March! Let's march towards our goals and achievements in life. 

If you're still here reading this, thank you so much for always supporting me, from my ups and downs, to my highest and lowest. You guys are so precious to me. Thank you, guys, so much! Sending virtual hugs and kisses to everyone

0202802022