Can you avoid cheating??

HOW TO PREVENT YOUR ASS FROM GETTING CHEATED ON

There are simple steps you can take to prevent getting cheated on. Note while they are “simple” they are not necessarily easy to do.

Let me explain.

STEP 1: DO NOT DATE SOMEBODY WHO CANNOT DEFER SELF-GRATIFICATION WELL

This goes without saying, but don’t fall in love with the first person who looks at you without grimacing.

Look, dating a self-gratifier can be awesome, as long as you continue to gratify them. But you need to learn to look past the feel-goods and look at how this person actually lives their life. Are they capable of making sacrifices for those around them? Are they impulsive? Does their life appear to be filled with unnecessary drama? Do they take responsibility for their actions?

The problem with people who base their lives around their own gratification is that they often appear confident to people who are anxious or insecure. I remember when I met my first girlfriend, one of the things I loved about her was that if she wanted something she just went and did it. I was so insecure and inhibited at the time that I thought this was an amazing display of confidence.

What I later found out was that it was actually an amazing display of self-gratification. As soon as she wanted another pair of genitals in her face, well, there they were.

As I described in this article, true sexy confidence only exists when someone is comfortable with what they don’t have. True confidence comes from being able to defer and give up one’s own gratification and desires and take the appropriate actions when necessary.

The other issue with people who date self-gratifiers is that they think to themselves, “Well, he’s so loving and happy when he’s with me, why would he ever want to be with somebody else?”

Yeah, it’s because he was dating you for the self-gratification, not the intimacy. So of course he loved being with you, as long as it was on his terms. As soon as you quit providing gratification for him, he went and found somebody else who did.

STEP 2: ENFORCE HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

That means standing up for yourself. That means declaring what is and is not acceptable in the relationship both for yourself and your partner. That means sticking by those declarations and following through on them. That means doing pretty much everything explained in this article.

That means you recognize that you are not responsible for your partner’s happiness nor are they responsible for yours. That you do not have a right to demand certain actions from them nor do they have a right to demand certain actions from you.

That means that they are responsible for their own struggles just as you are responsible for yours.

That means that you realize often the most loving and compassionate thing you can do for a loved one is allow them to deal with their struggles themselves.

The point of a relationship is not for you to have all of your life’s problems fixed by your partner, nor is it for you to fix all of your partner’s life problems.

The point of a relationship is to have two individuals unconditionally support each other as they deal with their own problems together.

STEP 3: ALWAYS BE WILLING TO LEAVE

This comes up in a lot of my replies to those emails I get, and it often catches people off guard.

But a relationship is only as strong as each person’s willingness to leave. Note that I didn’t say desire to leave, but the willingness to leave. Every healthy relationship requires the occasional loving but stern “no.” Otherwise nothing will ever change because there’s no reason for it to change.

A wise friend of mine told me years ago that after two divorces the most important lesson he learned was that “the quickest way to kill a relationship is to take each other for granted.”

A relationship is not an obligation. It is a choice. Made every day. It is a choice that says, “The intimacy we share is better for me than my own self-gratification.” It is a choice that recognizes the short-term costs are worth the long-term benefits. It is a choice to appreciate what brought you two together in the first place. And then to let that keep you there.

And sometimes some people are pretending to be blind because of love, even if they can see that their partner is cheating they keep on insisting their love, they keep on staying even if its not working anymore its sad to say that these people are the new crowned martyrs of all time..

PS:
Yeah we can't avoid of being cheated but please do love yourself if this happens to you..let go and move on stop being a martyr..