One Day After The Funeral.

It's really hard to accept what happened as the days passed by because it happened in a snap that's why our life is full of uncertainties. We don't know what might happen to us or to the life of others. I'm writing this article with all the mixed thoughts in my mind. Still it won't settle down. The aftershocks are still flying around in my head. I don't know when these thoughts will be gone but I'm hoping that it will be soon in order for me to live my life just like before.

It's hard to divert the feelings brought up by the sudden death of my grandfather but I'm trying my best by doing the things here, being busy all day. Even if the oldies say that if possible we are not allowed to work, still I can't help myself not to do so because the moment I'm not doing anything, all the thoughts will invade my mind making me crazy. I don't want that to happen.

I will help with the things in the day and I sleep for just 2 to 3 hours then at night starting from 7pm after dinner, it's my duty to be with my grandpa. We will stay upto 7 am in the morning together with my grandma and other family members. That kind of set up lasted until it's last night. Well to be honest that set up happened also after the funeral. We can't sleep.

The number of the crowd was maintained until his funeral.

My grandfather was a good and kind human being. The people attended in his burial since the first day stayed with us till his funeral. My grandpa was not that talkative but I can attest that he did many good things when he was still alive based from the stories of the people who shared their sympathy with us. They remembered all the good memories of my grandpa and we we're just crying when they reach the part of asking why did he die suddenly.

People are crying, mourning together with us till morning. Especially all of the co-farmers of my grandfather. Some of them accompanied me to be with him for 2 nights. They reminisced all their memories with my grandpa in the fields when they plant rice and harvest rice. They said that he was the fastest among them all and no one can beat him. They even said that he has an amulet that's why he was thar fast. We we're all joking about the amulet if he passed it down among us but I said to them that I don't know about it.

I thought in first night that there's not a lot of people who will come since my grandpa is not a person who go to different places here in our barangay ad he's shy sometimes by the way. But I was wrong, there's a lot of people already at 5 pm in the afternoon in his first day. They came from the different puroks. Different people and the same stayed with us until his funeral. We are truly grateful to them for staying with us.

Day of the funeral.

My chest was so heavy to the point that I wasn't able to breathe normally. I'm chasing my breath while tears are falling down nonstop while I hear my aunts and uncles crying beside the coffin of my grandpa. I was in my room at that time, I was getting dress for the funeral. I can't go out because I can't stop the tears from flowing out of my eyes. I don't want them to see me crying but in reality at the cemetery I cried and cried.

My grandma didn't want to ride at the carro for she still can't accept the fact that grandpa is gone. I talk to her and convince her that I will accompany her at the car, she cried the moment I talked to her. I know that it's very heavy for her. Until now she can't accept it that's why she told me that I will hide all the pictures of my grandpa here for the mean time.

A lot of people cried at the church and at the cemetery especially when they put the things he will carry along his next journey in his next life. For the last time me and my family use the short time for us to see my grandpa. I want to touch him one last time but the elders didn't want to.

I was the one who were task to say the eulogy at the church but I just can't do it because I'm crying through out the mass. So his sister gave the message in front and the same with us, she can't stop her tears. All in all his funeral was peaceful and we had a small feast here in our house but the people brought it in their homes because still we followed the protocols.

Author's note

Losing someone may be hard but accepting it is harder. There's a lot of ways to die out there but I like the way my father died but it will inflict very heavy feeling in the hearts of my love ones just like what happened to us.

It may take time to fully absorb happened but one day all of it will be imprinted in our memory permanently. We will be always grateful to all the people who shared their sympathy to us and to my virtual friends who's here.

If you're experiencing the love of grandparents now, I can suggest to you that savor it everyday. Don't let anything to ruin your good relationship with them. Imprint those happy memories with them while it last because when the time comes I'm sure you will feel very heavy just like they way I feel right now. Our time will come and that's life.

Thank you for reading this article and welcome back to me hihi. See you next time.

Lead image: I made it in Canva same with the image above.

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