Money Attitude

I was surprised… Somebody presented me with a very good attitude towards handling money and… Well, good riddance and thank you for teaching me such. I never thought that such an irritating attitude can be eradicated.

Previously… I honestly would raise hellfire for a debt unpaid, and in as much I’d embarrass myself after doing such, but that’s just the impulse working perhaps!

Dairy... I am truly indebted. Not because I think other people who borrowed money from me is stealing from me or mistook my generosity for philanthropy or somewhat in that direction. Them borrowing money from is basically comes from borrowing because they’re in need, does not even cross the line of trust. It’s just basically they need the money.

My problem is I have no trust issue and I basically money naturally doesn’t fall for that. Perhaps that’s why I am broke because of such attitude? Ahh, I don’t really care about what other people think about it or about me, for this matter. What matters most to me now and before, is that I can sleep over trivial matters.

Embarrassing because I used to… grrrr! I get overly mad for unpaid on the promised date. It’s really not because I think I deserve better but rather, I realized every after collecting from my friends, it’s bad. I really felt bad. Embarrassed myself to the point of “I humiliated myself” in front of them… aw!

Why now? Economic issues arise from time to time without deeming it that it’s just really around the corner. Unfortunately, it just happened to them. I already know that I fall short on my budget, so much more for those with bigger families and many piled-up issues to the point of suffocating. Now, I get to be invited to their houses and open their arms in welcoming me there as part of their family and my family as part of theirs.

Ok, everyone needs money. Who doesn’t? For whatever purpose that may serve, it was mine in the first place, and “I have every right to collect”.

True… But why do I feel bad afterward? Honestly? Well, I feel that I was greedy. Indeed. I need cash but somehow cash has a way of coming and/or, I found a way of supplicating. Like my grocery just fits the payday’s grocery. And some few bills and coins at hand. While the intent of paying is there, unfortunately, there isn’t a penny to spare? Just really none at all, and knowing that is really, it's why I feel bad. I know this, which is why I feel bad because… Although there are people who really disregard the promises and failed to pay but, that’s personal vendetta… hahaha!

I hate my intuition and all that… People think that I’m crazy. My criteria of friendship is different from the usual and, they all based their criteria of the person on 1st impression. While I don’t. It's not judging but I call it assessment. Assessment and judging are two different things. When I do judging, I basically don’t like the person outright, like just by looking at the person – I instantly don’t like and the person can pass through anything no matter how good or how hard he tries. Basically cannot be reversed. While assessment is a way of profiling a person. And even if we only met once, I immediately do that by 1st glance/meeting. I’m naïve and trusty, but that’s just it. Even if you killed 10 people in your life, if you choose to share it, well, perhaps I’ll just laugh it out. I’d prefer knowing the person without even asking their name. Odd? Yeah, it’s actually more interesting to know people’s stories than their names!

I’ve been in and out of economic crises and somehow, I made it through the rain. Keeping the faith is something that made me through the rain. So, I am quite thankful for that somebody that changed that perspective and made me more kind, now than ever. For those abusive, well, life is nothing but cycles… Just wait and see yours come. While every cycle I’ve gone by, I am sure – very sure I’ll get by. So in the end, I really have nothing to fear because at the end of the day, MONEY can be earned and be wasted anytime we please. This is what we worked for every day, ayt? EARN for a living. Thank u for reading.

October 05, 2022
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