3rd grade was the 1st encounter I had, he gave me a piece of a soap cover and told me “don’t forget me”, ok I think he referred to the scent of the soap. I was clueless about what it was, but upon reflecting, a couple of decades after, well I finally understood the gesture. Can’t blame me, I was a boy first before I was a girl. Most of my friends were boys (and he was one of them) which I very much had fun as girls were just sitting around and play with their dolls. Who would have thought, it was that! Then, followed by some advances on 5th grade but I gladly decline because I was still young. Then, prominent and bold gesture as I graduated elementary. There he was asking me to meet on the guardhouse because he has something to say! And lo, I was there and he spit this intentions saying “better start early than later”. And I was “huh?”, what just happened? I wasn’t clueless, so as he was stating his advances, I didn’t answer him but found an excuse to excuse myself and there I ran off.
High School
High school came and it was wholly different adventure. I was more confident on bearing my gender but I really had to make the boys stop, look and listen before advances were made. And true, I never had such advances but there I got a rose of 14th of Feb on senior high. And I quarreled the 1st boy I saw and he was my seatmate, I called him my “best buddy” that time. Oh, don’t worry, he was also a “bitch”, he handled it well by telling me “U should just accept things you received”. But no! No is a no and will never be yes! Oh, he pretty got it for sure to the letter.
Then another attempt, same year, somebody got me a mango juice on prom night! Besties was out of reach so I couldn’t quarrel him - again, I was with the girls so ‘til today I still wander who that was!
Oh, I did have a “crush of a life-time”, 1st year high but we soon parted as I changed schools.
1st Love Never Dies
I grew up loving plants. And along the way I fell in love with baking. Before I found my man but he died. When bore my kids, I fell in love with them and they had been a growing obsession since then.
1st love never dies because up to date I find myself obsessing with plants and even though I kill them most of the time, I still persist and grow them back. I have a love-hate relationship with them and in the passage of time, I just couldn’t let them go! My sons understand, so whenever I am angry, bunso says reminding me “mami, when your angry, be angry, just don’t kill the plants!” Oh! Bunso is also falling for them too! And that make me sober but to be fair, the reason why I’m losing my plants its because those I cared for 6 months ago were happy with full sun exposure not we relocated for work, they don’t enjoy the full sun anymore. Then its been raining almost everyday that I even forgot when was the last time I watered them. I’m losing the collection but, the sun still shines tomorrow, I could always start again.
In the End
Oh, I’m not afraid of boys. Its just the wirings in my head. Every time I get a feeling that made me uncomfortable, I kill it. I hate the dramas it brings especially when I grew up where my father was rather on the off side, so I really skip the dramas. What I had with ex was something I’d treasure and learned a lot from it. So, what’s next? It all depends on what’s stored for me in the next years.
Thank u,‘til the next chapter, -a blessed day everyone.
November 5, 2021
Yeah that is the true love. You hate and want but you cant let go to your plants. I knew someone like you here in my place. Well as i noticed a lot of people became a plant lover because of pandemic. But my neighbor hahah her house is surrounded by any kinds of flowers. Nice post keep it up!