Sunday Night Thoughts, Worries and Uncertainty

March 27, 2022 (10:08 pm)

Hmm, how do I start this? I'm having a series of deep sighs right now. I can't explain how heavy my heart is feeling right now. This article is going to serve as my "outlet of expressions" to what I have in mind right now.

First off, uncertainties. I'm not really sure but I think this is some sort of dealing with an identity crisis? I know I have dealt with this before and I was able to get through it but lately, it's getting on my nerves that I can't even determine which path to take.

I'm not getting any younger and I have to face the reality that I am way too far as to how my peers are going on with their lives. I should've been saving a lot of money and securing insurance for my family. I should've been enjoying the life I have envisioned years before when I was in grade school.

I am such a loser. I always keep telling myself to not compare myself to others but reality tends to always slap my face in broad daylight that I have not achieved anything in my entire existence. Oh God, this crushes my heart into pieces.

I have always been making motivational articles here on the platform but it turns out that there are days when I can't find my way out from that darkness. I know in myself how I should handle the situation but it's giving me a hard time taking the first step because negativity has overwhelmed me.

I am amazed by how these scenarios keep bugging me. We become what we consume and there it is, I have been eating negativity for that long.

With how my relationship is going today, we're not really okay. Given the situation, I doubt this relationship lasts long if this continues.

March 28, 2022 (7:03 am)

Good morning everyone! I woke up late because I slept late. I had an emotional discussion with my boyfriend last night. I honestly expressed my thoughts to him about how our relationship is doing.

Now that I woke up and faced a new day, I realized how emotional I was last night. I let my emotions take control of me. More so, I have proven that he has a more stable temperament than me. My God, he's very patient with me. I was all ready to engage in an argument with him last night but he didn't put more fuel to my fire. He handled it with maturity.

I'm just afraid of what the future holds for us. I'm still unsure of how my life would be when I decided to take this to the next level. It is giving me a different level of anxiety at its finest.

With these sudden outbursts, mood swings play great roles in ruining one's life even in just a day. I believe it has something to do with women's hormones too?

I don't know but there's something about women's hormones that even we can't understand ourselves. It is so hard to explain and we get frustrated if we can't do the things we want. Emotional stability is something that I should really work on.

To the girls out there, what do you usually do when you don't understand what you are feeling? How do you handle these emotions that hinder us to be productive because we get so hooked by it and we let ourselves get drowned by it?

The least that I can do now is to own up to my drawbacks and apologize to him. I should acknowledge that not every day I feel okay. I should recognize my emotions and do my best to get away with them because one thing is for sure, my hormones are just making me confused.

9:45 am

I am currently watching Mean Girls right now on Paramount Network.

This movie goes to show how a person does everything to get into his/her peers. Peer pressure really matters in our teenage years no?

At this stage kase, we consider belongingness as a sense of purpose in life. But as you grow and mature, you will realize that you can be you without having to worry about what other people may think about you.

Lead image source

This turns out to be so random. See how playful emotions are? I can't even. The variety of emotions displayed in this article is no joke. Haha

Thanks for reading.

Keep safe everyone!