A Test of Faith & Character

Every one of us goes through emotional struggles. When we encounter those hardships in life, do we doubt ourselves and ask will I surpass this situation?

Because I do and that's one thing I hate myself about.

June is about to end but the struggles we've been through this month were like a roller-coaster ride.

June 1-5

Last May 30, we attended a birthday celebration of my nephew. The weather was kind of gloomy. It was pouring a bit. We were fetched by our uncle and gave us a ride. When we get there, the area was already full so we had to find a good spot for parking. However, we were told to get off the car and just enter the house.

When we got off the car, the umbrella did not fully open so the rain poured on us a bit. It never crossed my mind to drink water right after because I went straight to my nephew greeted him and then played with him.

We ate our lunch there, had a chat with my cousins. I ate a lot. I enjoyed eating the crabs. That was sensational.

The next day, I started to feel like I'm going to have colds. You know you are going to have it when you feel something in your nose or in your throat that is stuck inside. Still, I went to buy some groceries because grandma said so.

The next morning, I got up feeling so bad. My head hurts so much. But it's not only me who's having it. My sister had it also so we drink medicines right away. We got rid of the headache but the colds are just starting.

We never thought that it's going to escalate something we were most afraid of. We just thought it was only an ordinary cough and colds.

Wednesday when the colds are at their peak, the weather was too cold for us. I haven't realized that we could harm our grandma's health too. We didn't wear masks because we just treated it like the usual cough and colds.

June 5

Friday, I woke up and went outside to let Sunny do her business. My colds were a little bit manageable and were no longer that irritating. However, my sister got a sore throat and our helper had severe headaches. I asked them to drink medicines for their conditions.

As I was walking down the stairs, I saw grandma looking so weak and then I heard her saying to call uncle and set an appointment for a checkup by a doctor because she's not feeling good. I can feel how she's feeling. She had a weak voice like a voice usually you will have when you have colds and she's coughing hard.

That stressed me out severely. My anxiety went up so high because if someone goes to the doctor for a checkup and has a cough, one must need to undergo a swab test to check if it's covid or not especially if he/she is showing symptoms of Covid.

I called uncle and told him about how grandma was feeling. He's concerned about sending grandma for a checkup because for sure she's going to undergo a swab test. So instead of going for a checkup, we bought medications prescribed by her doctor before.

Meanwhile, my sister still had a sore throat and our helper still had a headache. I'm still having colds and cough. That day was very concerning. We were starting to think about our errand histories.

We doubt ourselves and thought hard about it. I started to blame myself because the breakout started off with me.

June 6

I slept with grandma in her room to accompany her. That night was hard for her. Her cough made her sleepless during the night. Her health was greatly affected. She can still eat but when she was sleeping during the day, I felt her and it seemed like she was having a fever.

That concerned me a lot. I had cold sweats because of extreme stress and anxiety. I called uncle about grandma's condition. And he visited us minutes after.

Ever since I lived with my grandparents during my recovery from depression and self-infliction, I became her nurse whenever they needed assistance with their maintenance on medicines and other stuff.

I always make sure that they take their medicines on time and regularly. I always get stressed out whenever either of them gets cold and coughs because for sure, they will develop into something more serious and get hospitalized.

But this case was different. The situation is different because of this f*cking Covid.

We continued to let her drink the medicines uncle bought but she's not showing good progress. Instead, it seemed to us that her case worsened. Whenever she coughs, she's having a hard time breathing so we need to nebulize her.

That's when the family decided to set an appointment for a doctor checkup

I will cut this for now and publish the continuation on my next article.

Thanks for reading.

Keep safe everyone. ❤